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MULLET MADJACK Review: The Game Where You Kill Billionaires Every 10 Seconds

  • Writer: Niels Gys
    Niels Gys
  • Apr 30
  • 2 min read

There are games where you carefully plan a heist.

There are games where you build a criminal empire.


And then there’s MULLET MADJACK, which looks at all that and says:

“Or… hear me out… what if we just violently delete rich robot overlords every 10 seconds before our brain turns into mashed WiFi?”


The game throws chaos at you, but your audio still sounds like it’s coming from a soggy sandwich. Fix that with the SteelSeries Arctis Nova 1 Gaming Headset, then storm through our crime games reviews and actually hear every robotic oligarch panic properly.




Welcome to 2090, Where Your Brain Is a Tamagotchi

In this glorious dumpster fire of a future, your dopamine is on a 10-second life support timer.


No stimulation? You die. Like a goldfish. With WiFi.


So what do you do?

You kick down doors and start turning AI billionaires into scrap metal at a speed that would make DOOM look like a guided museum tour.



This Isn’t a Shooter. It’s a Cardiac Event.

Every room is a panic attack with furniture.


  • Stop moving → dead

  • Miss shots → dead

  • Blink → probably dead


You’re not “playing carefully.”You’re sprinting through floors like your landlord just remembered you owe rent.


You’ve got 10 seconds to live and you’re still aiming with the precision of a sleepy potato. Upgrade to the Logitech G Pro Wireless Gaming Mouse, jump into our villain video games hub, and start clicking like you mean it.


https://ko-fi.com/crimenetgazette


The Villains? Chef’s Kiss.

The world is run by Robillionaires. Yes. Robot. Billionaires.


Imagine if Silicon Valley became self-aware, lost its soul, and replaced empathy with subscription-based oxygen.


That’s what you’re killing.


And honestly? You’ve never felt more morally justified holding a shotgun.



CRIMENET Verdict

Is this a crime game? No.

Is this a heist game? Also no.

Are you playing as a villain? Not really.


But is it a beautifully unhinged power fantasy about dismantling a corrupt elite system with extreme prejudice?

Oh absolutely.



Final Thought

MULLET MADJACK isn’t here to simulate crime.

It’s here to simulate what happens when society turns into a dopamine casino and someone finally brings a gun.


And that someone… is you.


Now move. You’ve got 10 seconds left.


The game delivers neon madness, but your room looks like a tax office. Correct this crime with the Philips Hue White and Color Ambiance Starter Kit, then dive into our best heist games and give your setup the atmosphere it clearly deserves.

 
 
 

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About the Editor
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I'm Niels Gys, founder and editor of CRIMENET GAZETTE. I write about crime, heist, villain, and horror games because somebody has to separate genuine criminal masterpieces from games that couldn't organize a successful mugging.

Outside the website, I'm the frontman of JETBLACK SMILE, a Belgian rock 'n' roll band that sounds like bad decisions played through loud guitars. Turns out writing about chaos, criminals, and morally questionable life choices isn't all that different from writing songs.

I started CRIMENET because too much gaming coverage feels afraid to have an opinion. Reviews become press releases, every game is "solid," and somehow everyone leaves happy except the reader.

Not here.

CRIMENET covers crime, heist, villain, and horror games, alongside the occasional film or series that earns a place in the criminal underworld. Not the heroic kind. The kind where you rob banks, build empires, betray your crew, or become the monster everyone else is trying to survive.

I don't do review scores. The internet already has enough people arguing whether a game deserves a 72 instead of a 71, like they're negotiating a hostage release over a single percentage point. I'd rather tell you what the game actually feels like to play and whether it's worth your time.

Every article is built on research, evidence, and an unhealthy intolerance for mediocre game design.

 

Strong opinions are welcome. Invented facts are not.

Think less "trusted reviewer."

More "your inside man in the digital underworld."

I'm not here to save the world.

I'm here to tell you which crimes are worth committing. 🤘

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