Yuletide Regicide Review — Santa’s Murder, Holiday Chaos
- Niels Gys
- Dec 2, 2025
- 4 min read
TL;DR
A 45-minute festive murder-mystery that feels like someone spiked your hot chocolate with despair and glitter.
Yuletide Regicide is a short, scruffy, sarcastic Christmas murder snack, the digital equivalent of eating gingerbread shaped like a crime scene outline.
It’s not a deep game. It’s not a long game. But it is a weirdly charming holiday distraction that delivers laughs, absurdity, and a corpse in a red suit.
A festive whodunnit so delightfully stupid you’ll forget it’s free, and thank every dark deity that it is.
Want more holiday crime than this murdered Santa can offer? Grab GTA V on Green Man Gaming, cheaper than Santa’s life insurance. Or upgrade your mugshot with a Noir LED desk lamp on Amazon so your interrogation table actually looks like an interrogation table. Warm up with our 30 Best Heist Games Ever, the list Santa didn’t survive.
Freedom of Crime — a sleigh ride straight into a cul-de-sac
Yuletide Regicide is not an open-world Christmas GTA where you hijack sleighs, burn toy factories, or lead a reindeer-based biker gang. No.
You get a tiny slice of the North Pole, a handful of suspects, and the freedom level of a kindergarten nativity play. The whole thing feels like you’ve been invited to a crime scene but aren’t trusted to touch anything sharp. You click, you talk, you move on. That’s it.
Anyone hoping for holiday anarchy will instead receive a polite digital pat on the head and a marshmallow.
Criminal Fantasy Fulfillment — villain vibes with mittens on
Does it feel good to be bad? Well… sort of.
You’re not robbing Christmas, you're investigating it. You’re basically an underpaid journalist and an undead detective poking around Santa’s corpse like two blokes who wandered in because the pub was closed.
There’s a certain charm in accusing reindeer of murder, though. Especially when one of them absolutely looks like he’s hiding a cocaine habit.
It’s “criminal intent,” not “criminal empire.” More snark than slaughter.
Mission Design — door-to-door tinsel bureaucracy
Every “mission” is a conversation that feels like you’re collecting alibis printed on recycled wrapping paper. Talk to an elf. Talk to another elf. Talk to the reindeer. Talk to Mrs. Claus.
It’s basically speed-dating, except everyone smells vaguely of peppermint and trauma.
No heists. No chase scenes. No tactical reindeer-breaching manoeuvres. Just a tidy little lineup of suspects who all look like they’d lose a bar fight to a snowman.
Money & Progression — the Grinch stole your upgrade tree
Progression? Non-existent. Money? None. Skill trees? Absolutely not.
You finish the story, achievement pops up, game says:“Alright, back to your real crimes.”
It’s the Christmas equivalent of finding a €5 gift card in your stocking and realising it expired in 2017.
If this 45-minute North Pole whodunnit leaves you hungry, go full criminal buffet with PAYDAY 2 on Green Man Gaming, a holiday classic if your family traditions include armed robbery. For the festive mood: grab a red-and-white mechanical keyboard that clicks louder than a reindeer confessing under pressure.
World & Sandbox — more ‘snow globe’ than ‘underworld’
Yuletide Regicide’s world is a glorified hallway with a North Pole sticker slapped on it.
A few rooms, some hand-drawn characters, and the kind of “world-building” you’d expect from a Christmas card written by someone who hasn’t slept since Black Friday.
It’s charming, sure, like a crime scene recreated by art students, but don’t expect the underworld to react to your choices. The underworld is about six NPCs and a suspicious amount of tinsel.
Crew & NPCs — delightful weirdos wrapped in questionable hygiene
This is where the game shines. Every character looks like they crawled out of a rejected Adult Swim pilot:
elves who look one unpaid overtime away from arson
reindeer that give “I’ve seen things” energy
Mrs. Claus, who absolutely has something bottled up and it’s not mulled wine
They’re funny, grotesque, and each one seems deeply offended to be alive.
Are they deep? No. But they’re funnier than they have any right to be.
Police & Law Response — Santa’s death handled with the competence of a melted snowman
The CIA is allegedly “investigating,” which is adorable.
Law enforcement here is basically a couple of blokes rummaging through Santa’s bedroom like teenagers looking for hidden Christmas presents. Nobody knows what they’re doing, nobody is qualified, and everyone’s level of professionalism is roughly “intern at a charity shop.”
Which, frankly, is perfect for CRIMENET.
Style & Atmosphere — festive noir with a hangover
Hand-drawn art, sarcastic humour, the unsettling vibe of a holiday special directed by Tim Burton’s accountant, it works.
The atmosphere is festive, but only in the way a Christmas party gets festive right before someone throws up into the tree.
The soundtrack is fine. The vibes are questionable. The comedy lands more often than it misses. It all looks like someone duct-taped together a noir comic and a Christmas calendar and said “Yeah mate, ship it.”
Replayability — one-and-done, like a cheap advent calendar
Once you’ve solved the murder, that’s it. There’s no New Game Plus where Santa comes back as a vengeful wraith (though I’d personally pay for that DLC).
You can replay to poke different dialogue options, but let’s be honest, the North Pole isn’t exactly bursting with narrative elasticity.
Multiplayer — absolutely not
If you want to solve Santa’s murder with friends, you’ll need to crowd around one monitor like Victorian children reading a cursed book.
If you finished Yuletide Regicide and thought, “Yes, but what if I ruined Christmas harder?”, try Hitman World of Assassination on GMG. It’s like murdering Santa, but professionally. Or, for the truly depraved, get a retro-style typewriter keyboard from Amazon so your confession letter looks classy. Check out our Villain Index Hub and embrace your destiny properly.
FAQ
Is Yuletide Regicide worth playing in 2025? Yes, if you like murder, sarcasm, and games that end before your hot chocolate cools.
How long is Yuletide Regicide? About 30–45 minutes depending on how fast you interrogate mythical livestock.
Is this a proper crime sandbox? No, this is a murder-mystery visual novel. The only thing you’ll be driving is the plot.
Is it funny? Surprisingly, yes, in a “holiday movie made by lunatics” kind of way.
Should I play it if I hate Christmas? Definitely. This is practically medicinal.
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