GTA VI Lets You Street Fight, Fish, and Mini-Golf — It’s Absolute Bloody Mayhem

GTA VI Side Missions Include Mini-Golf, Street Fights, and Fishing — Chaos Wins Again

Street Basketball, Fishing, and Spontaneous Felonies? Go On...

Someone at Rockstar clearly had a meeting where they said, “What if Vice City had the vibe of a retirement home and a war zone?” And then everyone clapped.

The result? A criminal playground where you can throw hands in a back-alley MMA fight, rob a bank before brunch, and then head off to play mini-golf with the boys. Possibly while still covered in blood.

Yes, fishing is in. So is kayaking. And if that doesn’t scream “hyper-violent wellness retreat,” I don’t know what does.

A Reasonable Breakdown of Your New Weekly Schedule

• Monday — Community service (as a cover for arson)

• Tuesday — Fight club, followed by tacos

• Wednesday — Robbery. Or two. Depending on mood.

• Thursday — Mini-golf. Rigged with explosives.

• Friday — Kayaking (probably while being chased by helicopters)

• Saturday — Fishing. Find body. Panic. Sell it anyway.

• Sunday — Street basketball with literal drive-bys. Glorious.

If this isn’t the ultimate role-playing fantasy, I’ll eat my steering wheel.

My Take

Let’s not pretend this isn’t brilliant. You’ve got hardened criminals stopping mid-getaway to play nine holes. That’s not a bug. That’s a feature.

The juxtaposition is what makes it art: one moment you’re chucking a Molotov at a rival gang, the next you’re helping a pensioner clean graffiti off a wall for $5 and moral ambiguity.

And the kayaking? That’s not about sport. That’s about dominance. Glide silently into the harbor like a crocodile with unpaid parking fines. Look majestic. Commit tax fraud.

Still confused about how this is real?

👉 [Check Our Breakdown of GTA VI’s Visuals vs. Cyberpunk 2077]