Snowden (2016) – The Hacker Who Made Boring Look Brave

TL;DR

It’s like watching a man commit treason with the emotional intensity of a lukewarm tea.

A thriller with all the tension of a YouTube tutorial. Snowden should’ve been an electrifying act of rebellion — instead, it’s an IT department training video about conscience.

Snowden is a film about courage made by people too scared to have fun with it. It’s a story about breaking the rules — told by someone who triple-checks the manual first.

Ever dreamed of committing treason from your couch? Stream Snowden and learn how to overthrow democracy — safely, from your blanket fort. 👉 Watch Snowden on Amazon Prime Video (affiliate) Or get the Collector’s Blu-Ray if you prefer your whistle-blowers in HD and regret. 💿 Buy it here on Amazon (affiliate)

Criminal Fantasy Fulfilment

On paper, Snowden should be a CRIMENET wet dream: a government contractor leaks a truckload of secrets, becomes the most wanted man on the planet, and flips the bird to Uncle Sam. This should’ve been Scarface with Wi-Fi — “say hello to my little USB stick.”

Instead, what we got was a two-hour TED Talk on encryption ethics, starring a man who looks like he apologizes to his router before shutting it down. Sure, Snowden technically commits one of the greatest digital heists in modern history — but he does it while whispering and blinking nervously like he’s late for a dentist appointment.

If you came here to feel the rush of rebellion, you’ll leave feeling like you just filled out a tax return for freedom.

Plot & Pacing

The film lumbers along like a Windows update — you know it’s doing something important, but you’re never sure when it’ll finish or if it’ll restart halfway through. Oliver Stone, bless his conspiracy-addled soul, clearly wanted to make a thriller. What he made instead is a PowerPoint with feelings.

The first hour is Snowden being recruited, trained, indoctrinated, and mildly concerned. The second hour is him realizing that maybe — just maybe — spying on everyone is a bit rude. It’s less Mission: Impossible, more Morality: Optional.

You keep waiting for a chase, a twist, a betrayal. Instead, the biggest action scene involves sneaking a USB stick past security. Somewhere, Jason Bourne is facepalming so hard he’s concussed.

Characters & Performances

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is excellent — too excellent, actually. He disappears so deeply into the role that he forgets to be interesting. His Snowden isn’t a rebel; he’s a polite IT guy who once raised his voice at customer service.

Shailene Woodley plays his girlfriend, mostly existing to remind us that Snowden once had human contact. Nicolas Cage pops up briefly — probably because even he couldn’t resist the urge to appear in yet another government conspiracy film. It’s like seeing Elvis in a supermarket: you’re not surprised, just weirdly comforted.

Everyone else is fine, in the same way that plain rice is fine — functional, digestible, and utterly forgettable.

Dialogue & Writing

This is a movie that tries so hard to sound clever that it accidentally talks itself into a coma. Every conversation feels like two people reading terms and conditions at each other.

Where’s the snark? The flair? The witty one-liners? You’d think someone exposing global espionage would occasionally say something fun, like “The NSA can see me pooping.” But no. Instead, we get hushed exchanges about ethics that sound like rejected podcast drafts.

It’s like Oliver Stone took The Matrix, deleted all the cool bits, and left only the PowerPoint slides about freedom.

World & Atmosphere

We jump from American data centers to Hong Kong hotels and Russian exile rooms that all look like IKEA catalog pages for “Depressing Minimalism.” It’s supposed to feel tense and global — instead, it feels like a Wi-Fi problem that lasts two hours.

There’s no grime, no chaos, no danger. Even the CIA offices look like they smell of disinfectant and regret. Where’s the paranoia? Where’s the danger? This man’s exposing the world’s biggest secret, and the film has the energy of a corporate training video titled So You’ve Decided to Undermine the Government!

Direction & Style

Oliver Stone used to be cinema’s loudest political firebrand — the guy who made JFK look like a fever dream narrated by a mad prophet. Now? He’s grown up, calmed down, and discovered the joy of focus groups.

The film is shot beautifully, sure. Every angle screams “prestige drama.” But where’s the madness? Where’s the Stone who once accused clouds of being CIA drones? Here, the camera just sits politely, capturing Snowden as he types, deletes, types again, and blinks dramatically. It’s like The Social Network without cocaine or charisma.

Think you could do better than Edward with a VPN and a dream? Sharpen your paranoia with these criminally good spy flicks — where betrayal has better Wi-Fi than your house. 🎬 Watch Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy on Amazon (affiliate)

Soundtrack & Mood

Peter Gabriel croons over the credits, because nothing says “government overreach” like a melancholic ex-Genesis frontman. The score tries to sound tense but ends up feeling like background music in a waiting room for whistle-blowers.

If this film had a heartbeat, it would be the quiet “bloop” of a new email.

Morality & Madness

Here’s where things get ironic. The movie wants you to see Snowden as a hero — brave, moral, and tormented — yet spends two hours proving that heroism can be mind-numbingly boring. The moral takeaway is basically: “If you ever plan to challenge the world’s most powerful government, please use good lighting and correct grammar.”

For a man who leaked top-secret files and fled the country, Snowden on screen feels oddly risk-averse. He’s like a cat burglar who wipes his feet before breaking in.

Rewatchability

Unless you’re an NSA agent checking for accuracy, once is enough. This isn’t Goodfellas; it’s GoodIntentions. The second viewing would only confirm what you already know: you’ve seen PowerPoint, now you’ve seen the movie version.

FAQ

Is Snowden worth watching in 2025? Only if you enjoy seeing hacking portrayed like knitting in slow motion.

Does it make government espionage look cool? Not unless your definition of “cool” includes sitting in dark rooms whispering about metadata.

Will it make me question my morals? Yes — mostly about why you’re spending two hours watching a man click “send.”

Is it better than the real Snowden story? Only if you think reading the Wikipedia page is too thrilling.

Can I stream it without the NSA watching? Probably not, but at least they’ll fall asleep halfway through too.

You made it this far — clearly you’re the kind of person who reads the fine print before leaking it.

Join The CRIMENET Newsletter and get your weekly fix of digital villainy, heist news, and morally questionable movie picks. 📬 Subscribe to This Week in Crime

Or skip straight to the felonies — 🔒 Explore our Top 30 Heist Movies