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The Greatest Penguin Heist of All Time Review (2026): The Geneva Convention Never Mentioned Penguins

  • Writer: Niels Gys
    Niels Gys
  • Jul 21
  • 6 min read

Quick Verdict

The Greatest Penguin Heist of All Time is worth playing with friends if you want a cheap, chaotic co-op robbery game where stealth is possible but structural collapse is usually quicker.


It contains real heists, clear objectives and genuine freedom to steal, sabotage, kidnap targets or shoot through security. The criminal fantasy is not deep, but it is real. You are not rescuing the fish for ecological reasons. You are taking them because somebody else owns them.


The best moments come from multiplayer improvisation, the huge equipment selection and physics that turn sensible plans into insurance claims. Solo play works, but without friends creating emergencies nearby, the rough edges become harder to ignore.


Verdict: Recommended for co-op chaos. Less convincing alone.


If organised crime carried health insurance, these penguins still wouldn't qualify. Once you're done here, see what's actually running the underworld in this week's GTA Online Weekly Update, then dive into our Best Heist Games guide. Some crews wear balaclavas. Others waddle.




What Is The Greatest Penguin Heist of All Time?

The Greatest Penguin Heist of All Time is a physics-driven heist sandbox developed and published by That Fish and That Other Fish.


It includes 20 heists, more than 100 quests and a large collection of weapons, tools, clothing and penguin skins. It supports solo play and online multiplayer for up to eight people.


Each mission drops you into a location with an objective and several possible methods of upsetting the authorities. You steal valuables, kidnap targets, sabotage machinery and remove guards using anything from gadgets to explosives.


The structure resembles a smaller, sillier version of Payday. The main difference is that Payday usually assumes the crew can walk through a doorway without becoming entangled with a chair.


Readers chasing a more serious criminal career may eventually outgrow the penguins. That's where the genre really starts to shine. We've put together a complete guide to the best heist games, from meticulous bank robberies to sprawling cooperative crime sprees, covering which games actually make you feel like a professional thief instead of an unusually determined waterfowl.



What You Actually Do

Before each heist, you choose a loadout and decide how respectable the operation will pretend to be.


You can sneak past guards, distract them, knock them out or begin firing explosives until the building develops an outdoor section. Missions support lethal and non-lethal approaches, and the campaign can be completed without killing anyone.


The levels are not complex tactical simulations, but they contain enough routes and equipment to support experimentation. Drones, hacking tools, guns, poison fish and gravity-manipulating devices compete for space in your increasingly irresponsible inventory.


Objectives are simple: enter, steal something, complete optional tasks and reach extraction.

Planning remains lightweight. You choose equipment and improvise rather than studying blueprints or managing crew roles. International robbery has been reduced to deciding whether the penguin should carry a rifle or a baguette.



What Works

Freedom And Equipment

The game rarely insists on one correct solution.


A locked route might be bypassed with stealth, gadgets or explosives. Guards can be avoided, distracted or removed from the organisational chart.


The huge equipment pool gives you reasons to replay missions and test increasingly poor decisions. Weapons are not merely joke props. Gadgets can change how you approach guards, obstacles and objectives.


The game understands something many larger sandboxes forget: freedom is not having a large map. Freedom is having several terrible ideas and being allowed to test them.



Multiplayer Chaos

With friends, technical awkwardness often becomes part of the entertainment.


One person attempts stealth. Another discovers explosives. A third becomes trapped beneath furniture. The fourth has already escaped with the objective and nobody knows how.


The physics create incidents rather than polished action sequences, which suits the game. A professional robbery requires communication and discipline. Penguin robbery requires one functioning adult and seven witnesses.


The co-op chaos is exactly what makes this stand out. If your favourite gaming memories involve elaborate plans collapsing within thirty seconds because somebody "accidentally" fired a rocket indoors, you'll probably enjoy our roundup of the best co-op crime games. Not every robbery needs military precision. Sometimes surviving your own teammates is the real objective.



What Does Not Work

Unreliable Physics

Unpredictable movement is entertaining until you need precision.


Carrying objects, handling equipment or navigating tight spaces can become frustrating when the physics system interprets basic movement as a request to join the furniture.


Stealth suffers most. Quiet infiltration requires control, and control is difficult when your body behaves like a wheeled suitcase being pushed down cathedral stairs.



Shallow Progression

There are unlocks, quests and cosmetic purchases, but no deep criminal economy.


You do not build a gang, manage businesses, launder money or improve a persistent hideout. There is no serious wanted system or long-term law-enforcement response.


You complete robberies to unlock more toys, not to construct an empire.



Weak Solo Appeal

The missions remain playable alone, but much of the game’s personality comes from other people.

Without cooperative accidents, the simple objectives and awkward movement become more obvious. Solo mode is functional. Multiplayer is where the game becomes memorable.



Bugs And Performance

The game received several patches after leaving Early Access, targeting save stability, graphics, DirectX behaviour, Linux rendering, interface problems and map-specific bugs.


Reports of black screens, loading failures and unreliable tools have not vanished completely. Some explosives and hacking equipment can still behave inconsistently.


Performance has improved, but this remains a small physics-heavy game rather than a polished blockbuster. Expect rough edges when several people, objects and explosives begin negotiating with the engine.


Steam Deck buyers should be cautious. The game may run under some configurations, but it is not officially verified.

What The Community Thinks

Steam feedback is strongly positive, with most praise focused on the cooperative chaos, physics comedy and quantity of equipment.


Complaints repeatedly mention performance, loading issues, awkward controls and bugs affecting individual levels or tools.


The game is not loved because it is polished. It is loved because its rough systems often create something entertaining before they create something irritating.

Occasionally the order is reversed.



Who Should Buy It?

Buy it if you want:

  • A casual co-op heist game

  • Flexible mission approaches

  • Physics-driven comedy

  • Short robberies

  • A large collection of strange equipment

  • Criminal penguins with explosives


Skip it if you want:

  • Precise stealth

  • Deep progression

  • Crew management

  • A serious crime story

  • Reliable physics

  • Strong solo replayability


Despite the cartoon presentation, you're still playing the criminal. You're the one breaking into buildings, stealing property, kidnapping targets and deciding whether security goes home or doesn't. If that's your favourite side of gaming, you'll probably enjoy our list of the best games where you play as the villain, featuring everything from organised crime and heists to full-blown evil campaigns. After all, somebody has to keep the heroes employed.



Final Verdict

The Greatest Penguin Heist of All Time is a compact heist sandbox where criminal objectives, ridiculous tools and unstable physics collide inside levels built for experimentation.


The heists are real. The freedom is real. The technical roughness is extremely real.


With friends, that combination creates an excellent evening of failed stealth, accidental demolition and evidence scattered across several postal districts. Alone, it becomes thinner and less forgiving.


The perfect robbery leaves no witnesses. Penguin robbery leaves twelve witnesses, half a building and somebody wearing a saucepan.


CRIMENET survives by investigating gaming's finest felonies so you don't waste your money on legal employment. If you enjoyed the article, buy us a coffee on Ko-fi and join This Week in Crime, our underworld briefing covering the best money grinds, villain news, industry disasters and criminal opportunities before the authorities catch on.


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Frequently Asked Questions

Is The Greatest Penguin Heist of All Time a real heist game?

Yes. Its main missions involve selecting equipment, infiltrating locations, stealing or kidnapping objectives and reaching extraction. The heist theme is central to gameplay.


Can you play The Greatest Penguin Heist of All Time solo?

Yes. The game supports single-player as well as online cooperative play for up to eight players. Its physics-driven chaos is generally better suited to groups, but solo completion is supported.


Can you complete missions without killing anyone?

Yes. The developers state that the campaign supports non-lethal completion, although players may also use firearms, explosives and other lethal equipment.


How many heists are in the game?

The full release contains 20 heists, plus side quests, three survival maps, a pizza-baking level and Penguin Village.


Does it have character or weapon progression?

Players unlock weapons, tools and items by completing quests and exploring maps. Money is also used to purchase clothing and other cosmetic customisation items.


Is The Greatest Penguin Heist of All Time buggy?

The game has received substantial patching, including three hotfixes immediately after full release. Performance, saves, rendering and individual maps have been improved, but some players continue to report black screens and maps failing to load.


Is it worth buying?

It is worth considering for groups who enjoy physics comedy, cooperative sandboxes and casual heist missions. Players expecting deep progression, precise stealth or a polished solo campaign should wait for a discount or additional patches.


Is it similar to Payday?

The mission structure shares basic ingredients with Payday, including loadouts, infiltration, objectives and extraction. However, Penguin Heist is much more casual, physics-driven and comedic, with substantially lighter criminal progression.


 
 
 

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About the Editor
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I'm Niels Gys, founder and editor of CRIMENET GAZETTE. I write about crime, heist, villain, and horror games because somebody has to separate genuine criminal masterpieces from games that couldn't organize a successful mugging.

Outside the website, I'm the frontman of JETBLACK SMILE, a Belgian rock 'n' roll band that sounds like bad decisions played through loud guitars. Turns out writing about chaos, criminals, and morally questionable life choices isn't all that different from writing songs.

I started CRIMENET because too much gaming coverage feels afraid to have an opinion. Reviews become press releases, every game is "solid," and somehow everyone leaves happy except the reader.

Not here.

CRIMENET covers crime, heist, villain, and horror games, alongside the occasional film or series that earns a place in the criminal underworld. Not the heroic kind. The kind where you rob banks, build empires, betray your crew, or become the monster everyone else is trying to survive.

I don't do review scores. The internet already has enough people arguing whether a game deserves a 72 instead of a 71, like they're negotiating a hostage release over a single percentage point. I'd rather tell you what the game actually feels like to play and whether it's worth your time.

Every article is built on research, evidence, and an unhealthy intolerance for mediocre game design.

 

Strong opinions are welcome. Invented facts are not.

Think less "trusted reviewer."

More "your inside man in the digital underworld."

I'm not here to save the world.

I'm here to tell you which crimes are worth committing. 🤘

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No corporate fluff. No fake hype. Just the underworld report.

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