The Henchmen Review (2026): GTA 2’s Violent Little Criminal Cousin Is Surprisingly Good
- Niels Gys
- 3 days ago
- 7 min read
Quick Verdict
Yes, The Henchmen is worth it if you love old-school crime games.
If the words GTA 2, retro crime sandbox, top-down violence, mafia nonsense, and co-op criminal stupidity make your pupils dilate like a raccoon discovering espresso, this thing is ridiculously easy to recommend.
It is rough around the edges. The camera can occasionally behave like it owes money to dangerous people. Driving sometimes feels slightly floaty. And you will absolutely notice this is an indie game made by a human being rather than 800 executives arguing over battle pass fonts.
But for around €10, The Henchmen delivers something modern AAA crime games have quietly forgotten:
Fun. Criminal, chaotic, wonderfully stupid fun.
Buy if: you miss GTA 1 & 2, love mafia games, want couch co-op chaos, or enjoy crime sandboxes.
Skip if: you demand AAA polish, realistic driving, or think pixel violence should come with emotional life lessons.
TL;DR
The Henchmen is a retro-inspired top-down crime sandbox set in New Queens, where you climb the criminal ladder from street-level nobody to underworld problem.
You shoot people.
You dodge cops.
You steal vehicles.
You complete criminal jobs.
You work for gangsters.
You make the city considerably worse.
Frankly, civilisation has suffered enough heroes. It is refreshing to finally play something where your life goals involve organised crime rather than collecting flowers for grateful villagers.
The biggest surprise?
It actually feels like somebody genuinely loved GTA 2 and wanted to make a modern version instead of simply tweeting nostalgic feelings into the void.
If The Henchmen just reminded you how criminally fun old-school chaos can be, wait until you see the bigger underworld. Our guide to the best crime games is basically a police department’s recurring nightmare in article form.
Warning: may accidentally destroy your weekend and your productivity.
What Actually Matters
Is The Henchmen open world?
Yes.
You explore the city of New Queens, complete missions, drive vehicles, discover secrets, engage in shootouts, and generally behave like the sort of person who would make insurance companies physically ill.
The city is not gigantic in the “Ubisoft map covered in meaningless nonsense” sense.
This is more focused.
Smaller.
Denser.
More arcade-like.
Which honestly works in its favour.
Can you commit crimes?
Constantly.
This is not one of those games where marketing screams “crime!” and then spends twelve hours forcing you to become a morally conflicted community volunteer.
You play a career criminal.
The whole point is climbing the underworld ladder through violence, jobs, gang conflict and organised criminal nonsense.
You start as a street thug and work your way upward inside the city’s criminal ecosystem.
This is crime with intent.
Crime with ambition.
Crime with a five-year development plan.
Is there a heist element?
Sort of.
The game heavily leans into criminal jobs and organised crime fantasy, and the story builds toward larger criminal operations.
There are references to major jobs and large-scale criminal activity, including a huge score at the centre of the narrative.
But if you are expecting PAYDAY with masks, stealth routes and FBI assault waves, pump the brakes before your expectations crash into a concrete pillar.
This is closer to classic GTA-style organised crime progression than dedicated heist simulation.
Think: mob errands escalating into serious criminal business.
Not: Ocean’s Eleven with spreadsheets.
Is co-op actually good?
Yes. Surprisingly good.
This is one of the biggest reasons to buy The Henchmen.
The game supports split-screen and shared-screen local co-op, plus Remote Play Together.
And this is exactly the kind of game that becomes dramatically funnier with another person.
Everything becomes chaos.
Police chases become slapstick.
Shootouts become accidental betrayals.
Driving becomes an argument.
Someone will absolutely scream:
"WHY ARE YOU SHOOTING THE POLICE?"
while actively driving through a fruit stand at 70 mph.
Beautiful.
The Story: Crime Before Common Sense
The Henchmen takes place across two timelines, shifting between 1990 and 1996, inside the city of New Queens.
You rise through the criminal underworld, starting at the absolute bottom.
No empire.
No mansion.
No dramatic villain speech.
Just bad neighbourhoods, bad decisions and people whose hobbies include threatening you with weapons.
The mafia setup works well because the game never pretends you are secretly the good guy.
No tragic hero nonsense.
No “but perhaps violence is bad?” philosophy lecture halfway through.
You are in organised crime.
That is the job.
Gameplay: GTA 2 Got Punched In The Face And Loved It
The biggest compliment I can give The Henchmen is this:
It understands momentum.
Modern crime games sometimes feel terrified of fun.
Everything becomes cinematic.
Slow.
Overexplained.
Someone is always sadly staring out of a window discussing trauma.
The Henchmen instead throws you into chaos and politely suggests:
"Go make terrible decisions."
Combat is fast.
Messy.
Arcadey.
Weapons feel punchy.
Enemies go down quickly.
The game rewards aggression, movement and fast reactions.
There is a combo system pushing you toward stylish violence rather than hiding behind a wall pretending you joined the military. And the pacing works because missions rarely overstay their welcome.
You move.
You shoot.
You drive.
You get chased.
You accidentally cause societal collapse.
Then repeat.
Like a proper criminal.
The gaming industry loves pretending everything is fine while quietly setting fire to good ideas behind a boardroom somewhere.
This Week in Crime is our underground briefing: busted updates, hidden criminal gems, villain-worthy chaos, savage takes, and the money methods actually worth your time. Join the underworld before the next disaster arrives wearing a battle pass.
Driving: Good, Slightly Unhinged
Let’s talk about the driving.
Because this is where opinions will split harder than a cheap plastic chair at a biker rally.
The driving feels intentionally arcade-like.
Fast.
Loose.
Slidey.
Very old-school.
This is not a simulation.
You are not playing Euro Truck Criminality Simulator 2026.
Cars drift around corners with enthusiasm.
Handbrake turns feel chaotic.
Sometimes gloriously chaotic.
Sometimes slightly what exactly just happened there?
A few players have criticised the camera behaviour during driving and certain handling quirks.
And honestly?
Fair criticism.
There are moments where the camera behaves like it drank three energy drinks and lost spatial awareness.
But after an hour or two, your brain adjusts.
And suddenly you are threading alleyways during police pursuits like an escaped supermarket trolley possessed by criminal ambition.
The Combat: Fast, Violent, Satisfying
Combat is where the game genuinely surprised me.
The Henchmen understands that top-down violence should feel crunchy.
Not floaty.
Not polite.
Crunchy.
Guns feel satisfying.
Enemies react properly.
The pacing stays fast.
And shootouts become wonderfully messy when cops get involved.
Police are not decorative cardboard cut-outs either.
You will attract heat.
And suddenly what began as a minor misunderstanding becomes six patrol cars trying to rearrange your future. Which feels gloriously GTA.
The Biggest Problem
Let’s be brutally honest.
The Henchmen is not polished like a Rockstar game.
Of course it isn’t.
That would be like complaining your local burger stand is not Michelin-starred while simultaneously paying nine euros.
There are rough edges:
Camera frustrations at times
Driving quirks
Small indie jank here and there
Some UI and visibility complaints
You can feel the limits of a smaller production.
But importantly:
The jank rarely kills the fun.
And that matters.
Because some games are technically polished and still feel like chewing cardboard.
The Henchmen occasionally stumbles over itself, yet somehow remains charmingly entertaining.
Like a criminal getaway driver who absolutely should not have a licence but somehow still gets you home.
Is The Henchmen Worth Buying?
At €9.99?
Absolutely yes.
Frankly, at this price it feels borderline rude not to consider it if you enjoy crime games.
You are getting:
✅ Open-world criminal gameplay
✅ Mafia themes
✅ Police chases
✅ Shootouts
✅ Co-op
✅ Vehicle chaos
✅ Retro GTA energy
✅ A genuinely fun criminal sandbox
For the price of two disappointing takeaways and a drink that tastes vaguely of regret.
If this were £30 or €40, I would be harsher.
At ten euros?
The flaws become dramatically easier to forgive.
Community Reality Check
Right now, player consensus is still forming because the game is new and the review pool remains relatively small.
But the broad mood so far is clear:
People who love classic GTA, retro crime sandboxes and top-down criminal chaos are having a genuinely good time.
The biggest complaints consistently revolve around camera visibility and driving feel.
The biggest praise?
The atmosphere, criminal fantasy, chaos and nostalgic GTA energy.
Which honestly makes sense.
This game knows exactly what it wants to be.
That confidence carries it far.
Criminal Mastermind Score
Crime Fantasy: 9/10
Combat: 8/10
Driving: 7/10
Open World Fun: 8/10
Co-op Chaos: 9/10
Technical Polish: 6.5/10
Value For Money: 9/10
Final Score: 8.2/10
A scrappy little criminal sandbox with rough edges and a very bad influence on your moral compass.
Final Verdict
The Henchmen feels like somebody found GTA 2 in an old drawer, dusted it off, gave it more violence, more co-op chaos, and enough mafia energy to make neighbourhood watch groups visibly nervous.
It is not perfect.
It is not polished to mirror shine.
Sometimes it trips over its own shoelaces.
But underneath the rough edges is something increasingly rare:
A crime game that simply wants you to have fun being a terrible person.
And frankly, that deserves respect.
Charge Sheet
Guilty of criminal fun.
Guilty of making GTA nostalgia actually work.
Guilty of encouraging irresponsible driving.
Guilty of proving you do not need a billion-dollar budget to create organised criminal stupidity worth remembering.
Sentence: Worth your money. Especially with a friend.
If CRIMENET saved you from wasting €10 on digital disappointment, or helped you find your next criminal obsession, consider buying the operation a coffee.
This whole thing runs on caffeine, questionable sleep schedules, and an unhealthy fascination with crime games. Support the hideout, then go fall into our best heist games rabbit hole like the responsible criminal you are.
FAQ About The Henchmen
Is The Henchmen worth buying?
Yes, especially if you enjoy old-school crime games. For around €10, you get a surprisingly fun criminal sandbox with shootouts, police chases, mafia chaos, and local co-op. It has rough edges, but the fun-to-price ratio is frankly suspiciously good.
Is The Henchmen like GTA?
Yes, but specifically old-school GTA. Think GTA 1 and GTA 2, not GTA 5. It is top-down, faster, more arcade-like, and focused on criminal chaos rather than massive cinematic storytelling. If GTA 2 was your thing, this will feel dangerously familiar.
Can you play as a criminal in The Henchmen?
Absolutely. You play a rising career criminal climbing through the underworld of New Queens. This is not a “hero accidentally breaks rules” game. Crime is the entire job description.
Does The Henchmen have co-op?
Yes. The Henchmen supports local split-screen and shared-screen co-op, plus Steam Remote Play Together. If you have a friend who enjoys shouting bad tactical advice while accidentally attracting the police, this becomes dramatically more entertaining.
Does The Henchmen have heists?
Kind of. The game includes organised crime, major criminal jobs, and larger scores as part of the story, but this is not a dedicated heist simulator like PAYDAY. Think mafia crime progression with escalating criminal operations rather than mask-up stealth planning.
What are the biggest problems with The Henchmen?
The biggest complaints right now are camera frustrations, some driving quirks, and general indie rough edges. It is not Rockstar-level polished. But importantly, the chaos and fun usually outweigh the jank, especially if you enjoy retro crime games.
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