Best Items to Steal Early in Oblivion (Value vs Weight Chart)
Because if you’re going to be a thief, at least be a financially literate one.
TL;DR
Gold is weightless. Potions are priceless. Armor is for idiots.
Welcome to the Criminal Weight Watchers Program
So you’ve decided to turn to thievery. Good. The economy of Cyrodiil runs on corruption anyway, and you might as well be part of the supply chain.
But before you start emptying every barrel and chest in sight, here’s the harsh truth: most of what you can steal in Oblivion is garbage.
That “Fine Steel Cuirass” you just risked jail time for? Worth about as much as a wet cabbage and weighs more than your entire moral compass.
The professional thief understands economics — specifically, value-to-weight ratio.
In other words: don’t steal like a barbarian. Steal like an accountant with a ski mask.
The Science of Stealing (for People Who Failed Math)
Every item has two stats that matter:
Value — how much gold it sells for
Weight — how fast you regret taking it
Divide one by the other, and congratulations: you’ve just performed Oblivion’s only useful math.
If that ratio’s high, you’re rich.
If it’s low, you’re a medieval hoarder.
The rule is simple:
“If it’s light, shiny, and screams ‘expensive,’ it’s yours.”— Gray Fox, probably
The Top Loot Categories (Ranked by “How Smug You’ll Feel”)
💎 Item Type | Why It’s Brilliant | Example & Notes |
Precious Gems | Practically weightless. You can fit a noble’s fortune in your sock. | Flawless Diamond ≈ 0.1 weight, ~100 gold. That’s 1,000 gold per kilo. Jeff Bezos would cry. |
Jewelry | Tiny, shiny, and legal tender in three provinces. | Red Diamond Jewelry shop = jackpot. Bonus points for stealing a necklace named after the store. |
Spell Scrolls | 0.3 weight, 150+ gold. Basically paper money. | Wizards keep these lying around like unpaid invoices. |
Soul Gems | 1.0 weight max. Often fetch 100+ gold. | Especially “Grand” or “Black” ones. Also fun to imagine the souls inside screaming as you sell them. |
Potions & Wine | Lightweight luxury. Always valuable. Always drinkable. | Steal Skingrad vintage wine. If caught, drink evidence. |
Magic Staves | Worth hundreds, look classy, weigh ten tons. | Steal only if you’re strong or dramatically slow. |
Fine Enchanted Weapons | Good resale, bad for your spine. | Carry one. Sell two. Regret three. |
Gold | Weightless. Lawless. Glorious. | Never marked stolen. Even Oblivion’s justice system knows better. |
The Ratio Chart for Criminals with Standards
Item | Weight | Value (Gold) | Gold/Weight Ratio | Verdict |
Flawless Diamond | 0.1 | 100 | 1000.0 | The dream. Steal on sight. |
Enchanted Ring | 0.5 | 200 | 400.0 | Portable retirement plan. |
Spell Scroll | 0.3 | 150 | 500.0 | Paper that pays. |
Grand Soul Gem | 1.0 | 100 | 100.0 | Souls are heavy. Who knew. |
Strong Potion | 0.5 | 60 | 120.0 | Legal drugs with resale value. |
Vintage Wine | 0.7 | 50 | 71.0 | Steal, sip, swagger. |
Enchanted Staff | 10.0 | 800 | 80.0 | “Do you even lift, thief?” |
Fine Steel Sword | 5.0 | 300 | 60.0 | You can, but why? |
Iron Cuirass | 25.0 | 80 | 3.2 | Literal garbage. Throw it at a guard. |
The moral? If it clanks, leave it. If it sparkles, grab two.
Early Game Loot Locations Worth Breaking Into
You’re not robbing random barrels. You’re a professional. Professionals case their targets.
Red Diamond Jewelry (Imperial City)
The holy grail of petty crime. Display cases full of jewelry, guarded by a single man with the observational skills of a potted fern.
Castle Chorrol
Contains a Varla Stone in a glass case worth a small house. It’s unguarded. Because apparently the countess thinks “security” is a Daedra myth.
Drakelowe’s Basement
A witch’s lab stocked with potions and soul gems. She never checks downstairs. Probably can’t handle stairs.
Imperial Legion Armory
Heavy risk, high payout. Think of it as CrossFit with consequences.
Bravil Skooma Den
38 bottles of skooma worth nearly 3,000 gold. That’s either profit or a very wild weekend.
Advanced Financial Advice (for Criminal Economists)
Sell to fences only. Merchants won’t buy stolen items, but fences will — for a “small” ethical commission.
Fence fast, fence often. Stolen goods sitting in your inventory is goods waiting to get you arrested.
Don’t steal from the poor. Not because it’s wrong, but because they own nothing worth the effort.
Join the Thieves Guild early. They call it “Independent Thievery,” but it’s basically MLM for pickpockets.
Remember: anything with a red hand icon is your problem now.
Common Rookie Mistakes
Stealing Armor. You’ll make 80 gold and need a chiropractor.
Looting Everything. You’re not playing Fallout. Put down the pewter mug.
Ignoring Potions. Those tiny glass bottles are your early-game pension plan.
Not Saving Before a Heist. Nothing says “professional thief” like reloading every 30 seconds.
CRIMENET Verdict
In Oblivion, weight is the real enemy — not the guards, not morality, not even gravity.
A true thief doesn’t steal everything. He steals efficiently.
“Leave the iron armor to the peasants. I’m here for the diamond I can carry in my teeth.”
So next time you slip into a noble’s manor, remember:
If it glitters, grab it.
If it glows, sell it.
If it groans, leave it — that’s probably the owner.
Welcome to the economy, criminal.
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