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Briefcase Review: The Crime Game Where Packing a Gun Is Harder Than Using It

  • Writer: Niels Gys
    Niels Gys
  • 1 day ago
  • 5 min read

TL;DR

  • You don’t commit crimes. You organize crimes

  • Inspired by Resident Evil 4’s suitcase obsession

  • 50 puzzle levels of increasingly sadistic packing

  • Jazz, noir vibes, and suspiciously satisfying clicks

  • Great idea… but it might run out of steam faster than a cheap espresso machine


This is not a heist game. This is not a crime sandbox. This is not “be the villain.”

This is crime-adjacent obsession.

And it works.


But only if the level design holds up.


Because if it doesn’t, the whole thing collapses faster than a criminal plan that involves duct tape and optimism.


This article gave you the fantasy of criminal precision, but not the tools to feel like the cold-blooded luggage genius you clearly think you are. Browse our Crime Games Hub on CRIMENET, then grab the Vaultz Locking Storage Chest on Amazon and start organizing your desk like it contains state secrets. Buy the box, fix the chaos, pretend you work for professionals.



Open silver briefcase with purple foam interior on a wooden table, surrounded by pistols, a shotgun, grenades, and scattered bullets in a moody noir setting.

The Setup: Crime, But With Admin Work

Most games let you be a criminal mastermind.

Briefcase looks at that fantasy and says:

“Cool. You’re the guy who packs his lunchbox.”


Not the assassin. Not the getaway driver. You’re the poor idiot in the back room making sure the pistol doesn’t cuddle the cigarettes like two lovers in a suitcase-shaped coffin.

That’s the entire game.


You’re given weapons, tools, and assorted murder accessories, and your job is to fit them into a briefcase without it looking like a bomb went off in IKEA.


And honestly? It’s weirdly brilliant.



The Core Gameplay: Tetris, But Everyone Dies After

If you’ve ever played Resident Evil 4, you already understand the sickness.


That inventory system wasn’t storage. It was therapy. Rotating a shotgun 17 times to make room for herbs felt like solving world hunger.


Briefcase takes that exact brain disease and builds an entire game around it.

You rotate. You slide. You stare at a single bullet like it personally insulted your family.


And when everything finally clicks into place…

…you feel like a criminal god.


Not because you killed anyone. But because you made a knife fit next to a gun without bending physics.



The Vibe: Noir, Jazz, and Mildly Suspicious Relaxation

This game wraps itself in late-night jazz like a detective who’s one bad decision away from alcoholism.


It’s quiet. It’s moody. It’s the kind of atmosphere that makes you feel like you should be smoking indoors and making terrible life choices.


And somehow… it works.

Because instead of stress, you get this slow, creeping satisfaction. Like organizing a drawer… if the drawer contained things that would get you arrested in seven countries.



The Problem: Great Idea, But How Long Before It Starts Repeating Itself?

Here’s where things get shaky.


A concept like this is fantastic… for about ten levels.

After that, it needs to evolve. Not just “more stuff.” Not just “harder layouts.”It needs new tricks. New rules. New ways to make you question your life decisions.


Because if it doesn’t?

You’re not solving puzzles anymore. You’re just rearranging the same gun like it’s a piece of furniture you regret buying.


The game promises 50 levels.

That’s ambitious. That’s also dangerous.


Because if those 50 levels don’t keep surprising you, it’s going to feel like being stuck in a meeting where everyone keeps saying the same thing, but with slightly different hand gestures.


If Briefcase awakened your inner underworld quartermaster, don’t celebrate by living like a raccoon in a tool shed. Our Villain Hub pairs nicely with the BUBM Double Layer Electronic Accessories Organizer on Amazon, which turns cable spaghetti into something almost respectable. Your gear deserves better than a drawer that looks like it lost a bar fight.


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The Competition Problem: You’re Not the First Guy With a Suitcase

There’s already a game that did this. People loved it. Then they forgot about it.


So Briefcase walks into the room like a guy at a party who says,“Hey, I also do that thing you liked once.”


Which means it has to bring something extra.

And to its credit, it tries.


It leans into style. It leans into mood. It leans into that whole “crime logistics” angle, which is genuinely more interesting than yet another trench coat simulator.


But whether that’s enough? That’s still up in the air.



The Real Fantasy: You’re Not the Villain… You’re the Reason the Villain Works

This is the part that makes Briefcase special.


You’re not the chaos. You’re the infrastructure behind the chaos.

You’re the reason the assassin doesn’t show up with a gun wedged sideways like a confused shopping trolley.


You are the invisible force that makes crime efficient.

It’s like being the accountant for the mafia…Except instead of numbers, you’re organizing objects that could end a Netflix documentary.


And that’s honestly more interesting than half the “be a criminal” games out there.



The Technical Reality: Runs on a Potato, Probably a Slightly Ill One

System requirements are basically:

“Do you own a computer? Great.”


This thing runs on 1–2GB RAM and about as much storage as a meme folder.

Which is refreshing.


Because in a world where games need a nuclear reactor just to render a puddle, Briefcase shows up with a USB stick and vibes.



Criminal Mastermind Score

Concept: 9/10

Brilliant idea. Simple, addictive, slightly unhinged.


Execution (Early Evidence): 

7/10Promising, stylish, but still unproven at scale.


Addiction Factor: 8/10

If it clicks, you’re not leaving your chair.


Longevity Risk: 6/10

Could either evolve beautifully… or repeat like a broken record.


Overall: 7.5/10

A slick, clever little crime puzzle that might be genius… or might quietly run out of ideas halfway through.



Final Charge Sheet

Charge 1: Turning inventory management into a full game.

Guilty. And somehow making it fun.


Charge 2: Riding the coattails of Resident Evil 4.

Guilty, but with enough style to get away with it.


Charge 3: Being weirdly satisfying.

Very guilty.


Charge 4: Potentially overstaying its welcome.

Under investigation.



Sentence

Play it.

But keep one eye on it.


Because this could either be a tightly packed masterpiece…

…or a suitcase that looks perfect until you realize it’s full of the same thing repeated 50 times.


The game gives you jazz, noir, and neat little murder rectangles, but your actual setup still looks like a burglary went wrong. After reading our crime-adjacent indie picks on CRIMENET, pick up the Vlando Valet Tray Organizer on Amazon and give your keys, wallet, and daily clutter a proper criminal headquarters landing zone. Stop living like a confused pigeon and sort your life out.



FAQ

Is Briefcase actually a crime game or just a puzzle with guns? It’s a puzzle game wearing a criminal trench coat. You’re not committing crimes, you’re enabling them. Think less “mastermind” and more “sinister logistics intern who somehow runs the whole operation.”
Does it play like Resident Evil 4’s inventory system? Yes, and it knows exactly what it’s doing. It takes that obsessive suitcase Tetris and stretches it into a full experience. If you ever lost ten minutes rotating a shotgun like a confused architect, you’re already in danger.
Is there enough variety to keep it interesting? That’s the million-euro question. Early signs point to solid progression, but the concept is delicate. If it keeps introducing new twists, it’ll hook you. If not, it risks becoming a very stylish way to repeat the same mistake 50 times.
How long is the game? It’s built around 50 handcrafted levels, which sounds respectable until you realize puzzle games live or die on how fresh those levels feel. Could be a tight experience, could be a polite overstay. Jury’s still out.
Is it relaxing or frustrating? Both, like assembling IKEA furniture while someone plays jazz in the background. When it works, it’s smooth and satisfying. When it doesn’t, you’ll stare at a single item like it personally betrayed you.
Should CRIMENET readers care about it? Yes, but for the right reasons. This isn’t a chaos simulator. It’s the backstage pass to crime. If you like the idea of being the invisible force that makes villains look competent, this is absolutely your kind of weird.

 
 
 

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About Me
558296546_2180920959098419_5393229836138433861_n.jpg

I’m Niels Gys. Writer, gamer, and professional defender of fictional criminals. On screen only. Relax. I front JETBLACK SMILE, a rock ’n’ roll band from Belgium that sounds like bad decisions set to loud guitars. Turns out the mindset for writing about crime, chaos, and villain energy translates surprisingly well to music.

Here I run CRIMENET GAZETTE, a site dedicated to crime, heist, and villain-protagonist games, movies, and series. Not the wholesome kind. Not the heroic kind. The kind where you rob banks, make bad decisions, and enjoy every second of it.

CRIMENET exists because too much coverage is polite, bloodless, and terrified of having an opinion. Here, villains matter. Criminal fantasies are taken seriously. And mediocrity gets mocked without mercy.

I don’t do safe scores or corporate enthusiasm. I do sharp analysis, savage humor, and verdicts that feel like charge sheets. If something nails the fantasy of being dangerous, clever, or morally questionable, I’ll praise it. If it wastes your time, I’ll bury it.

CRIMENET isn’t neutral. It sides with chaos, competence, and fun.
Think less “trusted reviewer,” more “your inside man in the digital underworld.”

I’m not here to save the world.


I’m here to tell you which crimes are worth committing. 🤘

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