Confidential Killings Review: Noir Clicks, Dead Stars

TL;DR

It dresses like a criminal mastermind, but thinks like a librarian with blood on their hands.

Confidential Killings is a gorgeous noir puzzle that thinks it’s smarter than it is, clicks itself to death, and still somehow charms you while doing it.

Love staring at crime boards and feeling clever? Buy a corkboard, red string, and a magnifying glass and start accusing your houseplants. 👉 Amazon has everything you need to cosplay a failing detective.

→ Crime Games Reviews (CRIMENET)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lwQCiGN2-4

Sit Down, You’re Thinking Too Much

Confidential Killings opens with a promising pitch: Hollywood elites dropping dead like flies in a fly swatter factory. Actors. Producers. Writers. All murdered. No one safe. Everyone shady. Glorious.

And then it gently takes you by the shoulders, sits you down, hands you a pen, and says:“Now read this paragraph again and underline the suspicious word, champ.”

There is no freedom of crime here. You are not a menace. You are not a loose cannon. You are an unpaid intern solving murders via Microsoft Word logic. The bodies pile up, sure, but you’re never the storm. You’re the guy taking notes while the storm happens somewhere off-screen.

CRIMENET sides with criminals. This game sides with homework.

The Illusion of Being Clever

On the surface, this thing oozes noir confidence. Every screen looks like it was ripped from a hardboiled graphic novel someone pretends to understand at parties. Shadows. Cigarettes. People reclining like they’ve already betrayed you twice.

You feel smart. Briefly.

Then the gameplay kicks in and you realise the “fantasy” is mostly:

• Read text

• Click highlighted words

• Try combinations

• Get told you’re wrong

• Question your intelligence

• Repeat

It’s less “brilliant detective” and more “escape room built by someone who hates you.”

You’re not cracking a conspiracy. You’re solving a murder with the enthusiasm of a tax audit.

A Puzzle Box Full of Spite

Each case follows the same ritualistic structure, like a cult meeting but with fewer snacks.

You’re given a scene. You hunt for clues. You slot words together like you’re playing Scrabble with a corpse watching. Sometimes it clicks and you feel smug. Sometimes it doesn’t and you stare at the screen like it personally insulted your family.

There’s no proper hint system. The game believes suffering builds character. It waits until you’re almost correct, then whispers: “Warmer.” Thanks. Tremendously helpful. I was hoping for “helpful,” but condescension works too.

The result is tension, yes, but also fatigue. This is a thinking game that occasionally forgets thinking should be fun, not a punishment handed out by a strict French teacher.

Congratulations, You Have… More Text

There is no money. No upgrades. No progression beyond “you now know more depressing information.”

You don’t unlock abilities. You unlock understanding. Which is nice, in the same way learning how sausages are made is nice. You’re richer in knowledge, poorer in joy.

This is a one-time purchase detective experience. No padding, no microtransactions, no nonsense.

Credit where it’s due: it doesn’t nickel-and-dime you. It just slowly drains your patience instead.

This game made you feel smart for five minutes. Commit to the bit.

Get a fedora, a leather notebook, and a vintage desk lamp and glare at strangers professionally.

👉 Amazon: funding bad decisions since forever.

→ Villain Protagonist Games (CRIMENET)

Beautiful Wallpaper, Zero Furniture

Hollywood here is a postcard. A very pretty one. You can stare at it. You cannot live in it.

There’s no walking around. No exploration. No “what if I try this?” energy. Every scene is a framed diorama where interaction is limited to clicking the bits the game allows you to click.

It’s less “world” and more “museum exhibit titled Crime, Please Do Not Touch.”

Which is a shame, because the atmosphere begs for a bit of chaos. But chaos was clearly not invited.

Stylish, Silent, Slightly Dead Inside

The characters look fantastic. Everyone has a vibe. Everyone looks like they’ve lied before breakfast.

And then they just… sit there.

No voice acting. No dynamic conversations. No moments where personalities clash in memorable ways. They exist to be read, analysed, and eventually suspected.

They feel like suspects in a police file, not people you remember. Stylish mannequins waiting for you to accuse them of murder.

Finally, Something We Agree On

Good news: the police are basically irrelevant.

No sirens. No morality lectures. No heroic badge-polishing nonsense. Law enforcement exists only as a distant concept, like a myth or a budget concern.

For CRIMENET, this is excellent. No copaganda. No sanctimonious speeches. Just crime, secrets, and dead bodies being treated like intellectual puzzles instead of moral lessons.

At least someone got it right.

Carried Entirely on Vibes

This is where the game wins most of its battles.

The art direction is superb. Moody lighting. Strong compositions. Every frame looks like it smells of cheap whiskey and regret. If style could arrest you, this game would already have you in cuffs.

Unfortunately, style is doing all the heavy lifting. The gameplay rides shotgun, occasionally asking if you’re “having fun yet” while sweating profusely.

You Already Know Who Did It, Sherlock

Once you’ve solved a case, that’s it. The mystery is gone. The magic evaporates.

You can replay to admire the art or confirm you were, in fact, correct. But this isn’t a game you’ll obsess over. It’s a one-and-done noir novel with interactive footnotes.

Multiplayer (Absolutely Not, Thank God)

Single-player only. No co-op. No shared suffering.

This is a lonely experience, as all proper detective spirals should be.

Finished? Irritated? Good.

Buy whiskey stones, a proper tumbler, and sit quietly judging fictional people.

👉 Amazon delivers faster than closure.

→ Heist Games (CRIMENET)

FAQ (Asked by People Who Still Have Hope)

Is Confidential Killings worth playing? Yes, if you enjoy smart-looking games that occasionally make you feel dumb on purpose.

Is it more story or gameplay? Story, presentation, and vibes. Gameplay exists, but it’s mostly there to judge you.

Is it a true crime power fantasy? No. It’s a thinking exercise dressed as a murder spree.

Will CRIMENET readers enjoy it? Yes, but mostly while complaining loudly and pouring another drink.

Is it frustrating? Absolutely. Sometimes brilliantly so. Sometimes just… frustrating.