Crime Simulator Review (2026): The Closest Thing To A Burglar Career Without A Court Date
- Niels Gys
- Jun 27
- 6 min read
Quick Verdict
Crime Simulator is worth playing if you've ever looked at a locked front door in a video game and thought, "I wonder what's inside."
It's a co-op burglary game where you break into houses, steal everything that isn't nailed down, use increasingly questionable tools to make your life easier, and desperately try to pay off a debt that hangs over you like an angry loan shark with a gym membership.
It's not a deep mafia simulator.
It's not GTA.
It's not PAYDAY.
It's essentially a burglary sandbox wrapped around a roguelite progression system.
And for the most part?
It works.
Verdict: Recommended, especially with friends.
Finished robbing suburban homes? Good. Before you spend the proceeds on questionable life choices, check this week's GTA Online Weekly Grind guide. Rockstar has probably broken the economy again, and we'd rather you profit from it than become another cautionary tale.
What Is Crime Simulator?
The premise is beautifully simple.
You're in debt.
A lot of debt.
The sort of debt where missing payments probably ends with your face appearing on a milk carton.
So you start robbing houses.
Not for justice.
Not for revenge.
Not because society failed you.
Because somebody wants money and your career options apparently collapsed somewhere between prison and unemployment.
The result is a first-person crime game built around burglary, theft, loot extraction, upgrades, and increasingly risky jobs.
You sneak in.
Steal valuables.
Avoid getting caught.
Sell the loot.
Upgrade your gear.
Repeat.
It's basically capitalism with extra lockpicks.
What Do You Actually Do?
Most of your time is spent committing property crimes on an industrial scale.
You'll:
Break into homes
Pick locks
Search rooms
Steal valuables
Avoid cameras
Deal with guards
Use sleeping gas
Use drones
Upgrade criminal skills
Improve your hideout
Escape before everything catches fire
Not literally.
Usually.
The core gameplay loop is refreshingly honest.
Crime Simulator doesn't spend three hours pretending you're a hero before finally letting you steal a television.
The stealing is the game.
Which is surprisingly rare these days.
Many crime games desperately want to become action games.
Crime Simulator just wants your neighbour's microwave.
The Criminal Fantasy
This is where the game succeeds.
A lot of games advertise crime.
Very few actually commit to it.
Crime Simulator does.
You are not a cop.
You are not an undercover agent.
You are not a morally conflicted vigilante who kills 400 people but gets upset about shoplifting.
You're a criminal.
A fairly enthusiastic one.
Everything revolves around theft, profit, tools, upgrades, and increasingly efficient burglary.
The fantasy is genuine.
The scale is smaller than GTA or PAYDAY, but the focus is much tighter.
Instead of robbing banks, you're robbing houses.
Instead of becoming a kingpin, you're becoming an expert parasite.
And frankly, that's more interesting than it sounds.
The Best Part: Co-Op Crime
Crime Simulator is good solo.
It's significantly better with friends.
Every co-op crime game eventually creates a moment where somebody ruins everything.
A guard gets spotted.
A door gets kicked in.
A carefully planned operation collapses because Dave found a toaster worth twelve dollars and suddenly forgot the mission.
Crime Simulator understands this.
The game thrives on controlled disaster.
One player is scouting.
One player is looting.
One player is trying to explain the plan.
The fourth player is carrying six stolen lamps and making everyone's life worse.
Those moments are where the game shines.
Progression Is Where Things Get Messy
Here's the thing.
The actual burglaries are fun.
The progression occasionally feels like it's trying to punish you for enjoying yourself.
Skills, upgrades, hideout improvements, new tools, and progression systems all exist.
That's good.
Unfortunately the pacing sometimes feels slower than a government website built in 2004.
Several players have reported frustration with unlock speed and progression bottlenecks.
And they're not entirely wrong.
There are moments where the game feels less like a criminal empire and more like an internship.
An unpaid internship.
For crime.
Which somehow feels even less ethical.
Crime Simulator proves one thing: stealing televisions is surprisingly lucrative. If you'd rather graduate from houses to vaults, our Best Heist Games list is packed with bigger scores, louder alarms, and criminals with significantly worse impulse control.
Is It Better Than Thief Simulator?
This is probably the biggest question potential buyers have.
The answer is:
Not better. Different.
Thief Simulator is slower.
More methodical.
More focused on observation and planning.
Crime Simulator is faster.
More chaotic.
More replayable.
More interested in momentum than realism.
Thief Simulator feels like a professional burglar studying blueprints.
Crime Simulator feels like four idiots with lockpicks trying to meet rent.
Which one sounds more fun depends entirely on the type of criminal you aspire to be.
Bugs, Stability, And Technical Problems
Crime Simulator isn't spotless.
Far from it.
The developers have been actively updating the game, which is good news.
The bad news is that some recurring complaints haven't completely disappeared.
Players have reported:
Multiplayer connection issues
Occasional bugs
Progression frustrations
Performance hiccups
Lobby problems
None of these issues appear severe enough to tank the game's review score.
But they exist.
And pretending otherwise would be like pretending a getaway car with one missing door is "factory condition."
What The Community Thinks
The overall mood is surprisingly positive.
Most players seem to agree on a few things:
The burglary gameplay is fun.
The co-op is where the game comes alive.
The progression can drag.
The updates are helping.
The concept works.
That's a pretty healthy place for a game like this to be.
Nobody seems to be arguing about whether the core gameplay is enjoyable.
The debate is mostly about how long it takes to unlock the shiny toys.
Which is a much better problem than "the game is terrible."
Who Should Buy Crime Simulator?
Buy it if:
You enjoy theft games.
You enjoy co-op chaos.
You like progression systems.
You want a crime game that actually focuses on crime.
You have friends who make terrible decisions under pressure.
Especially that last one.
The game practically requires one.
Who Should Skip It?
Skip it if:
You want a deep story.
You want a GTA-style sandbox.
You want a criminal empire simulator.
You hate grinding.
You expect flawless online performance.
You prefer organised crime over smash-and-grab burglary.
This isn't a mafia fantasy.
It's a burglary fantasy.
There's a difference.
One wears expensive suits.
The other steals expensive suits.
Final Verdict
Crime Simulator delivers exactly what its title promises.
That sounds obvious.
It isn't.
Modern games regularly promise one thing and deliver something completely different.
Crime Simulator promises crime.
Then hands you lockpicks, sleeping gas, a shopping list of valuables, and a financial crisis.
The co-op is excellent.
The burglary loop is addictive.
The progression occasionally overstays its welcome.
The technical issues are real but manageable.
Most importantly, the criminal fantasy is authentic.
You're not saving the world.
You're not helping strangers.
You're not gathering magical friendship crystals.
You're breaking into houses and stealing televisions.
Sometimes the simplest ideas are the best ones.
A genuinely entertaining co-op crime game that occasionally trips over its own progression systems, but remains one of the better burglary sandboxes currently available.
CRIMENET survives on stolen sleep, excessive caffeine, and readers who appreciate independent crime game journalism. If this review saved you from buying a disaster or helped you find your next obsession, consider supporting us on Ko-fi.
Then join This Week in Crime, our weekly underworld briefing covering criminal opportunities, villain games, broken economies, terrible updates, and whatever fresh nonsense the gaming industry has committed since last Friday.
FAQ
Is Crime Simulator a real crime game?
Yes. Crime Simulator is built around burglary, theft, criminal tools, debt quotas, and escaping with loot.
Can you play as a villain in Crime Simulator?
Yes, mechanically. You play as a criminal committing burglaries. It is not a deep evil roleplaying game, but you are absolutely not the neighbourhood hero.
Is Crime Simulator like Thief Simulator?
Partly, but it is faster and more roguelite-focused. The developers specifically present it as different from a stealth-focused Thief Simulator-style experience.
Is Crime Simulator good solo?
It can be played solo, but the game appears strongest in co-op. Solo players who dislike repetition may find the grind heavier.
Does Crime Simulator have heists?
Yes, but expect smaller burglary/heist-style jobs rather than massive cinematic bank robberies.
Does Crime Simulator have co-op?
Yes. It supports up to 4-player online co-op.
Is Crime Simulator worth buying?
Yes for co-op crime fans, especially on sale. Be more cautious at full price if you hate grind, slow progression, bugs, or networking issues.
Comments