PROCEDURE ZERO First Look: The Guards Have Superhuman Hearing and the Memory of a Goldfish
PROCEDURE ZERO promises a prison ruled by corruption, cigarettes and criminal influence. Having played its two-mission demo, I can confirm that cigarettes are important, the guards are violent and the prison's security arrangements appear to have been designed by someone who once glanced at a correctional facility through a bus window. There are some interesting ideas here, but the demo didn't leave me wanting more.
You play a former auditor who discovered something he shouldn't have and subsequently found himself imprisoned without so much as a proper identity. It's a decent premise. You're supposed to uncover the conspiracy, gather information and eventually gain influence inside the prison. Unfortunately, the establishment itself seems to be having a nervous breakdown.
Another prison, another cigarette economy, and guards who apparently graduated from the same security academy. In our Inside Job First Look, I accidentally became a tobacco magnate in a prison where criminal consequences seem entirely optional.
Welcome to Prison. Please Ignore the Rules.
My first encounter with a guard ended with him smacking me. Charming fellow. I was already considering how to make him regret that decision when I discovered something rather useful: getting caught and punched effectively turns the guards into a fast-travel service. Why spend time walking when the prison administration offers express transportation through blunt-force trauma?
The prison rules are equally fascinating. During lockdown, my cell door could remain open, which rather undermines the concept of locking anyone down. I could also wander into another inmate's cell and rummage through their belongings without apparently provoking a response. In an institution supposedly governed by violent criminals, trespassing and searching someone else's property is apparently considered perfectly acceptable social behaviour. Perhaps everyone attended a conflict-resolution workshop.
There is one inmate worth watching, though. Prisoner 214 has a smile so unsettling that I'd rather share a cell with the guard who punched me. At least that bastard communicates his intentions clearly. The inmates also sport some truly questionable hairstyles. Whatever the prison is spending its money on, it certainly isn't a competent barber.
Want prison politics where contraband, alliances and manipulation actually matter? Our Back to the Dawn review explores a prison RPG where the inmates are animals, the schemes are elaborate and the criminal underworld has considerably sharper teeth.
Cigarettes: The World's Most Inconvenient Currency
Cigarettes are central to PROCEDURE ZERO's criminal economy. You collect them and use them to obtain information needed to progress through the main quest. That's potentially interesting. Prison economies can create wonderful little power struggles when ordinary objects suddenly become valuable.
But here's where things get ridiculous. If you're caught, the guards confiscate your cigarettes. Perfectly reasonable. Except those cigarettes then reappear at their original collection locations. So the guards don't actually deprive you of your contraband. They simply send you shopping again.
Imagine being a prison guard tasked with eliminating an inmate's illegal tobacco supply. You conduct a search, confiscate everything, congratulate yourself on another successful operation and then quietly return the merchandise to the exact places where the prisoner found it. Congratulations. You've invented the world's most aggressive supermarket loyalty programme.
The lockbox beneath your bed also appears to offer safe storage for cigarettes and other possessions, keeping them out of reach during searches. Sensible enough, although it makes the confiscation system even easier to work around. The larger problem is that cigarettes function mainly as an objective requirement in the demo. Find enough, exchange them for the information you need and continue. I never felt like I was building a criminal enterprise or manipulating an underground economy. There's a functioning transaction system here. Whether it eventually becomes something deeper remains to be seen.
Guards With the Hearing of Batman and the Memory of a Goldfish
Stealth is where PROCEDURE ZERO becomes particularly bizarre. The guards seem to possess superhuman senses, provided you're standing in the correct direction. Their hearing is absurdly sensitive, yet their visual awareness depends heavily on a directional cone. And if they spot you? Just hop behind a corner or an object. Apparently, you've vanished from existence.
These men can detect suspicious activity with astonishing precision, but the moment you break their line of sight, their understanding of object permanence goes straight out the window. It's difficult to feel clever when escaping security involves hiding behind something and waiting for the guard's brain to finish rebooting.
Stealth consequently manages to feel both too difficult and too easy. Getting detected can seem unfair, while escaping detection can feel laughably simple. You're learning how to exploit the guards' limitations rather than genuinely outsmarting them.
There are moments of atmosphere, however. Searching the washing area for smokes during a power shortage, armed with a flashlight, introduced an entirely new interpretation of dropping the soap. The action music is another pleasant surprise. It's energetic, and I genuinely enjoyed it, although as a rock and metal enthusiast I may not be the most impartial judge. The game is also voiced, which gives the characters more personality. The performances are passable rather than exceptional, but I appreciate their inclusion.
Visually, the biggest problem was substantial screen tearing throughout my session. It was distracting enough to repeatedly pull me out of the experience.
Had enough of prison? Perhaps it's time to commit the crimes that get you sent there. Our 25 Best Crime Games ranking covers everything from petty theft to criminal empires, including games where being a complete bastard is practically a career qualification.
Verdict: Early Release for Good Behaviour
PROCEDURE ZERO has an appealing concept. A corrupt prison, information trading, contraband and an eventual struggle for territorial control could make for an excellent crime game. But the demo doesn't demonstrate much of that larger ambition. The cigarette economy feels scripted, the guard behaviour is wildly inconsistent and the prison itself struggles to enforce rules that would seem fairly fundamental to running a prison.
I can forgive a small solo-developed game for rough edges. I can even enjoy the occasional absurdity. But a demo has one important job: convince me that I want to experience what comes next. PROCEDURE ZERO didn't.
The full game may eventually deliver the criminal power struggle its premise promises. For now, the most efficient operation inside this prison appears to be getting punched by security and collecting the same cigarettes again.
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