PROHIBEAST Review: The Best Crime Game Where You Can’t Actually Be The Criminal?
- Niels Gys
- 16 hours ago
- 6 min read
TL;DR
PROHIBEAST is a stylish stealth tactics game with a fantastic criminal setting and one very inconvenient problem: you are the police.
You sneak through mob hideouts, sabotage illegal operations, outsmart gangsters, and punch holes in Al Capone’s meat-smuggling empire during an alternate-history prohibition era where meat is illegal.
Yes, meat.
Not whiskey. Not cocaine. Meat.
Somewhere in another universe, a vegan dictator finally snapped and society collapsed into sausage-related organised crime.
The setting is excellent.
The criminal fantasy? Not so much.
If you love games like Desperados, Shadow Tactics, or Commandos, there is something genuinely interesting here. If you came hoping for a filthy criminal playground where you run black markets and become a morally bankrupt menace, this thing slams the door in your face and politely hands you a government badge.
Fast answer done. Let’s dig into the carcass.
PROHIBEAST lets you sniff around organised crime like an overeager detective, but if you’d rather be the problem instead of filing paperwork about it, our best heist games guide is waiting downstairs in the getaway van. Some games let you dismantle crime. Others let you become a beautifully catastrophic life choice.
What Is PROHIBEAST?
PROHIBEAST is a single-player real-time stealth tactics game set in an alternate 1930s Chicago where meat has been outlawed.
Naturally, organised crime reacts to this development with the emotional maturity of a raccoon discovering a locked bin.
Enter Al Capone, now running a vast illegal meat empire, complete with smuggling routes, corruption, criminal hideouts, and enough black-market nonsense to make a CRIMENET writer briefly consider buying a fedora.
You play as Eliot Ness and the Untouchables, infiltrating mafia operations, gathering evidence, sneaking through hostile environments, and dismantling Capone’s empire one tactical operation at a time.
Think:
Shadow Tactics + gangster noir + illegal brisket trafficking + anthropomorphic animals
Yes, this is a real videogame.
No, I’m not making that sentence up.
What Do You Actually Do In Gameplay?
Let’s cut through marketing fog before it breeds.
PROHIBEAST is not GTA.
It is not Payday.
It is not Mafia.
And it definitely is not some open-world crime simulator where you build your own underground meat cartel like Tony Soprano opened a butcher shop.
This is a mission-based stealth tactics game.
You control multiple characters with different abilities and infiltrate guarded locations.
Expect:
Stealth movement
Silent takedowns
Distractions
Environmental routes
Enemy patrol patterns
Tactical positioning
Multi-character coordination
Trial-and-error infiltration
Enemies react to sight, hearing, and even smell, which sounds ridiculous until you realise this game stars animal characters and suddenly the entire thing becomes strangely logical.
You creep through docks, estates, mafia-controlled areas, and criminal compounds looking for ways to bypass guards, isolate enemies, and dismantle operations without turning the entire city into an improvised funeral procession.
If you played Desperados III or Shadow Tactics, you’ll understand the assignment immediately.
Can You Actually Be The Criminal?
Short answer:
No.
Long answer:
Absolutely not.
And this matters.
Because PROHIBEAST constantly dangles organised crime in front of your nose like a glorious steak dinner before reminding you that you are, in fact, the dude investigating the restaurant.
You do not:
❌ Run rackets
❌ Smuggle goods
❌ Build criminal influence
❌ Perform heists
❌ Rob banks
❌ Join Capone
❌ Become morally rotten
❌ Profit from crime
You are fighting organised crime.
Now, to be fair, the game does let you infiltrate criminal spaces, sabotage mob activity, deceive enemies, and quietly dispose of problems in deeply suspicious ways that would absolutely get somebody investigated in real life.
But make no mistake:
This is a lawman fantasy wearing a criminal setting.
That distinction matters.
A lot.
Is The Crime Fantasy Real Or Fake?
Half real. Half decorative wallpaper.
The world itself absolutely commits to the criminal fantasy.
Chicago feels soaked in corruption. Capone’s empire exists. Smuggling operations matter. The black market is central to the narrative. Criminal organisations actually shape the world.
That part works.
The problem is that you never really participate in the criminal ecosystem yourself.
It’s like being invited to the world’s greatest casino only to discover you’ve arrived as the accountant.
Sure, technically you’re inside the building.
But emotionally?
Something has gone terribly wrong.
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The Best Parts
The Setting Is Weird In The Best Possible Way
Illegal meat prohibition should be catastrophically stupid.
Instead, it somehow works.
There is something genuinely entertaining about seeing classic prohibition-era organised crime reimagined through butcher-smuggling gangsters and noir animal politics.
It feels original in a gaming landscape where half the industry appears trapped making medieval crafting simulators where Barry the Blacksmith requires seventeen squirrel pelts before he trusts you emotionally.
PROHIBEAST at least has personality.
And personality is rare.
The Tactical Gameplay Has Real Potential
When stealth tactics click, they really click.
Sneaking through patrol routes, setting distractions, coordinating timing, and solving encounters like a criminal puzzle box can feel enormously satisfying.
Fans of old-school tactical stealth games will probably find moments to enjoy here.
Especially if they miss the era when games expected you to possess patience and functioning brain cells.
Al Capone Makes A Great Villain
Capone works beautifully here because the setting naturally supports organised crime drama.
He feels important.
His empire feels dangerous.
The criminal underworld feels lived-in.
Which honestly makes it slightly tragic that the game never lets you stand beside him and become an utter menace yourself.
Missed opportunity, frankly.
The Worst Parts
You’re Not The Criminal
Let’s address the elephant wearing a trench coat.
Or badger.
Or fox.
Whatever animal this universe assigns disappointment.
For a game dripping with black-market crime energy, PROHIBEAST never fully commits to letting players embrace the chaos.
You are dismantling organised crime, not building it.
That instantly limits the fantasy for crime-game fans.
Launch State Feels Rough
At launch, player feedback has been mixed.
The biggest complaints consistently circle around:
Performance problems
Bugs
Quality-of-life frustrations
Rough edges in stealth systems
Awkward controls in certain situations
Voice acting complaints
Some players seem genuinely enthusiastic about the atmosphere and tactical systems.
Others sound like they narrowly escaped an electrical fire.
That usually means one thing:
Potential. But needs patches.
It Lives In A Dangerous Genre
Here’s the problem.
Games like Desperados III and Shadow Tactics already exist.
And they are very, very good.
Like frighteningly good.
Like “why bother making a sandwich after eating at a Michelin restaurant” good.
So PROHIBEAST enters a genre where players immediately notice weak AI, clunky stealth, bad pathfinding, poor readability, or awkward controls.
This genre is brutally unforgiving.
A stealth tactics game with friction feels about as relaxing as trying to thread a needle while someone repeatedly screams behind your ear.
Is PROHIBEAST Worth Buying?
Buy It If:
You love stealth tactics.
You miss Commandos and Shadow Tactics.
You enjoy noir crime aesthetics.
You’re patient with launch patches.
You think illegal meat gangsters sound delightfully deranged.
Skip It If:
You want to play as the criminal.
You want heists.
You want open-ended crime systems.
You want RPG freedom.
You hate stealth puzzle gameplay.
You lose patience when games launch with technical hiccups.
Final Verdict
PROHIBEAST is frustrating because it gets so close to something CRIMENET readers would worship.
The setting is glorious.
The organised crime atmosphere works.
Capone’s criminal empire is genuinely cool.
The stealth tactics framework has promise.
But then the game taps you on the shoulder and says:
“Congratulations. You’re the police.”
And suddenly the fantasy deflates like a cheap inflatable getaway boat.
Still, if you love tactical stealth and don’t mind standing on the morally lawful side of organised crime for once, there is something here worth watching.
Maybe not immediately.
But eventually.
Especially after a few patches and some technical cleanup.
CRIMENET Verdict: Interesting, stylish, occasionally brilliant… but criminally allergic to actually letting you be the criminal.
Score: 6.5/10
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FAQ
Is PROHIBEAST an open-world crime game?
No. PROHIBEAST is a mission-based stealth tactics game focused on infiltration and strategy.
Can you play as a villain in PROHIBEAST?
No. You play Eliot Ness and the Untouchables fighting organised crime.
Does PROHIBEAST have heists?
Not really. Missions focus on stealth infiltration and tactical objectives rather than robberies or criminal planning.
Is PROHIBEAST like Payday or GTA?
No. It is much closer to Shadow Tactics, Desperados, or Commandos.
Is PROHIBEAST worth buying at launch?
Only if you already enjoy stealth tactics and can tolerate launch roughness. More cautious players may want to wait for patches.
Is Al Capone in PROHIBEAST?
Yes. Al Capone and his illegal meat empire are central to the game’s story.
