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Samson Review: Brilliant Crime Game… Ruined by a Broken Launch?

  • Writer: Niels Gys
    Niels Gys
  • 3 days ago
  • 6 min read

TL;DR

• Crime fantasy? Excellent

• Core idea? Genuinely clever

• Execution? Like watching a drunk locksmith try to open his own door

• Launch state? On fire, still moving

• Worth playing? Absolutely

• Worth buying right now? Depends how much you enjoy chaos


Samson is the kind of game CRIMENET exists for.


A dirty, desperate crime story about survival instead of power.


It just currently plays like it escaped from early access through a side window.


Fix it, and this could be cult gold.

Leave it as is…


…and it becomes a fascinating cautionary tale about what happens when a great idea shows up to launch day wearing someone else’s trousers.


Samson gives you debt, violence, and urban misery, but not the one thing your setup desperately needs: proper sound that makes engines and street chaos hit like a boot to the chest. Grab the Creative Pebble Pro 2.0 USB-C Computer Speakers, then swing by our best crime game reviews page and stop experiencing underworld mayhem through the acoustic quality of a dying microwave.




The Pitch (aka: Why this should have been amazing)

You’re Samson. You owe money. Not the “oops I forgot my Netflix subscription” kind. The kind where people rearrange your face if you’re late.


Your sister is the collateral.

Welcome to Tyndalston.


This isn’t a playground. It’s a pressure cooker with a steering wheel. Every day you wake up, you’ve got limited time, limited actions, and a very unlimited amount of people who would like you dead.

So you go to work.


Jobs. Favors. Violence. Deliveries. Intimidation. Whatever keeps the debt wolves from chewing through your ribcage.


And for about five glorious minutes, you think:

“Finally. A crime game that understands crime.”


Not penthouses. Not jetpacks. Not a flying motorbike that looks like Elon Musk lost a bet.

No. This is grime. This is panic. This is survival.

This is CRIMENET fuel.



The Core Idea (aka: This is actually brilliant)

Here’s where Samson quietly does something very, very clever.


Instead of giving you a giant map filled with distractions like “collect 14 pigeons” or “help a man find his lost yoga mat,” it gives you pressure.


You have limited actions per day.


You choose:

  • Progress the story

  • Or go make money


Which is exactly the kind of decision real criminals make.


Not “should I go bowling?”

But:

“Do I push forward or do I survive today?”


It turns side content into survival. It turns the open world into a problem.

And that… is rare.


Most crime games make you feel like a king.

Samson makes you feel like a man who just checked his bank account and briefly considered selling a kidney on Facebook Marketplace.



And then… the wheels come off

You know that moment when a car looks absolutely gorgeous…

…and then you drive it and realize the steering wheel is attached to absolutely nothing?

That’s Samson.



Combat (aka: slap fight in a washing machine)

Fighting in this game feels like trying to box someone while wearing oven mitts and standing on a wet trampoline.


There’s no proper lock-on.

Enemies come at you like angry pigeons.


The camera gets so close it might as well ask for your phone number.

Dodging becomes less “skillful maneuver” and more:

“PANIC. PANIC. PRESS BUTTONS. HOPE FOR THE BEST.”


And occasionally someone throws something at your head and you collapse like a Victorian fainting lady.


It’s not tactical.

It’s not precise.

It’s chaos in a corridor.



Driving (aka: finally, a pulse)

Then you get in a car.

And suddenly… the game wakes up.


Driving actually feels decent. Weighty. Controlled. Like someone on the team said:

“Maybe we should make this part work.”


And they did.

But then they added vehicle combat, which feels like trying to win a demolition derby using a shopping trolley and positive thinking.


This game throws you into grimy late-night driving with all the elegance of a crowbar to the teeth, so don’t play it on a screen that looks like wet cardboard. The KTC 27-inch QHD Gaming Monitor (170Hz) makes every rain-soaked chase and alleyway beating look far less like soup, and while you’re at it, raid our heist games hub for something else worth your criminal attention.


https://ko-fi.com/crimenetgazette


Missions & Progression (aka: Groundhog Day with worse consequences)

Here’s the problem.

The system is good.


The execution loops start to feel like:

  • Same jobs

  • Same structure

  • Same “go there, do crime, come back, try not to die”


Over and over.


Which is fine if the moment-to-moment gameplay is tight.

It isn’t.


So repetition hits you like a brick.

Not a metaphorical one.

A real one.

Thrown by the game.



The Technical Situation (aka: the building is on fire, but politely)

Let’s not sugarcoat this.

At launch, Samson behaves like it was released mid-argument.


We’re talking:

  • Bugs

  • Performance dips

  • Occasional “what just happened” moments

  • And the kind of glitches that make you stare at the screen like it just insulted your family


The developers have already admitted things weren’t okay and are pushing fixes.

Which is good.

But right now?

You’re not buying a finished car.


You’re buying a car with a mechanic sitting in the passenger seat saying:

“Don’t worry, I’ll fix it while you’re driving.”



The World & Vibe (aka: dirty, desperate, and actually interesting)

Here’s the frustrating bit.

The world works.

Not in a flashy, postcard, influencer-with-a-drone way.

But in a “this place smells like debt and bad decisions” way.


It feels grounded.

Oppressive.

Like every alley has history and most of it involves someone making a terrible choice.


There’s no heroic nonsense here.

No shining armor.

No speeches about justice.

Just: Work. Survive. Don’t get buried.

CRIMENET gold.



The Real Problem

Samson is not stupid.

That’s what makes this painful.


It’s not some empty, soulless cash grab.

It’s a game with a brain.

A good one.


But the body hasn’t caught up yet.

It’s like watching a brilliant strategist try to win a war using a spoon.



Criminal Mastermind Score

Concept: 9/10

Execution: 5/10

Stability: 4/10

Crime Fantasy: 8/10

Overall: 6.5 / 10



Charge Sheet (Final Verdict)

The Court of CRIMENET finds Samson: A Tyndalston Story…


GUILTY of:

  • Launching in a state that feels like it skipped a few important life steps

  • Combat that resembles a bar fight in zero gravity

  • Repetition that creeps in faster than unpaid interest


NOT GUILTY of:

  • Being boring

  • Being generic

  • Being another sterile “hero saves the day” snoozefest


SENTENCE:

Return to development custody for patching, polishing, and a firm talking-to.

Eligible for parole if updates fix the chaos.



Should You Play It?

Right now?


If you enjoy:

  • Rough gems

  • Broken brilliance

  • And shouting “WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT” at your screen


Then yes.


If you want:

  • Smooth gameplay

  • Tight combat

  • A finished experience


Wait.


Samson may be rougher than a pub toilet after derby day, which means the last thing you need is a mouse that reacts like it’s filing a complaint with HR. The Logitech G502 HERO Gaming Mouse gives you control when the game decides subtlety is for accountants, and our play as the villain section is waiting if you fancy graduating from broken street debt to properly delicious evil.



FAQ

What kind of game is Samson: A Tyndalston Story? It’s a third-person crime game built around survival rather than power fantasy. You’re not climbing to the top in a gold-plated helicopter, you’re scraping by, taking jobs, managing debt, and trying not to get your teeth rearranged by people who don’t do reminders.
Can you actually play as a criminal or villain? Yes, unapologetically. This is not a “misunderstood antihero saves the day” situation. You do criminal work for money, make questionable decisions, and spend most of your time trying to stay alive in a city that would happily forget you exist.
Is Samson an open-world game like GTA? Technically yes, but with a twist. It’s smaller, tighter, and less about messing around and more about making choices under pressure. You don’t wander, you operate. The world feels less like a playground and more like a system designed to chew you up.
Is the gameplay actually good? In flashes, yes. Driving feels solid and the core idea is genuinely smart. But combat is clunky, repetition creeps in, and the overall experience can feel like it’s one patch away from greatness and three patches away from stability.
How bad is the launch state really? Let’s put it this way: the developers themselves admitted things weren’t acceptable. Expect bugs, rough edges, and the occasional moment where the game behaves like it’s had a long night and poor life choices.
Should you buy it now or wait? If you enjoy messy, ambitious games and don’t mind wrestling with issues, you’ll find something interesting here. If you want a polished experience that behaves itself, wait for patches unless you enjoy suffering as a lifestyle choice.

 
 
 

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About Me
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I’m Niels Gys. Writer, gamer, and professional defender of fictional criminals. On screen only. Relax. I front JETBLACK SMILE, a rock ’n’ roll band from Belgium that sounds like bad decisions set to loud guitars. Turns out the mindset for writing about crime, chaos, and villain energy translates surprisingly well to music.

Here I run CRIMENET GAZETTE, a site dedicated to crime, heist, and villain-protagonist games, movies, and series. Not the wholesome kind. Not the heroic kind. The kind where you rob banks, make bad decisions, and enjoy every second of it.

CRIMENET exists because too much coverage is polite, bloodless, and terrified of having an opinion. Here, villains matter. Criminal fantasies are taken seriously. And mediocrity gets mocked without mercy.

I don’t do safe scores or corporate enthusiasm. I do sharp analysis, savage humor, and verdicts that feel like charge sheets. If something nails the fantasy of being dangerous, clever, or morally questionable, I’ll praise it. If it wastes your time, I’ll bury it.

CRIMENET isn’t neutral. It sides with chaos, competence, and fun.
Think less “trusted reviewer,” more “your inside man in the digital underworld.”

I’m not here to save the world.


I’m here to tell you which crimes are worth committing. 🤘

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