SUPERYACHTS, EXPLOSIONS, AND TAXIS ON STEROIDS: A WEEK OF ABSURDITY IN LOS SANTOS
- Niels Gys
- 1 dag geleden
- 3 minuten om te lezen
TL;DR
This week in GTA Online:
Double GTA$ & RP on A Superyacht Life – Blow up boats, salvage loot, and pretend you’re classy.
2X Rewards on Shipwrecks – Beachcombing, but violent. Collect treasure, get rich, maybe find a leg bone.
3X GTA$ on Taxi Work – Be the most dangerous Uber driver alive.
2X GTA$ & RP on Tiny Racers – Top-down carnage with explosions and existential regret.
40% Off Galaxy Super Yachts & Mods – Because your dinghy just isn’t intimidating enough.
Gun Van Freebies – Minigun and Heavy Sniper are free. What could possibly go wrong?
Vehicle Discounts – 40% off everything from deathtraps to drift monsters. Treat yourself irresponsibly.
Prize Ride: Dewbauchee Specter – Win a race, get a sleek missile disguised as a car.
GTA+ Members – Free stuff, rare liveries, and enough bonuses to question your moral compass.
Now hop in that armed yacht, hail a cab, and crash into someone at 150mph. 💥💸🛥️
Right. Picture this: you’re standing on the deck of your overpriced floating palace, sipping something French and alcoholic, when a bunch of jet-skiing lunatics open fire. Do you call the police? Of course not. You launch a guided missile from your hot tub and double your income while doing it.
Welcome to this week in GTA Online, where subtlety is dead, restraint is illegal, and even the taxis are on amphetamines.
A SUPERYACHT LIFE – DOUBLE GTA$ & RP
Yes, it's back. The only mission set that makes you feel like a Bond villain with a severe personality disorder.
Salvage sunken cargo? ✅
Blow up enemy boats? ✅
Repel frogmen with automatic weapons while drinking espresso? ✅✅✅
Do three of these nautical fever dreams, and Rockstar hands you $100,000, presumably so you can pay for therapy after what you’ve just done to the Pacific Ocean.
💡 Yachts are 40% off this week. So if you've been pirating from a paddleboat, now’s your moment.
SHIPWRECKS – BECAUSE BEACHCOMBING IS VIOLENT NOW
Find daily wrecks, pick up treasure, and collect outfit scraps to unlock something called The Frontier Outfit. Which is ideal if your fashion sense is “feral outlaw who moonlights as a fisherman.”
2X GTA$ and RP, because yes, even looting the corpses of sunken vessels pays better in Los Santos than a university degree.
TRIPLE PAY ON TAXI WORK – THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You, a humble cabbie, driving innocent passengers from A to B.
Except B is a warzone.
And your cab is basically a guided missile with leather seats.
3X GTA$ for Taxi Work, meaning it's finally viable to roleplay as Travis Bickle if he listened to EDM.
TINY RACERS – DEATH MARIO KART RETURNS
Top-down madness with ramps, rockets, and rage quits. It's like Micro Machines had a baby with a hand grenade.
2X GTA$ and RP for every hilarious explosion and midair betrayal. Don’t fall behind—unless your lifelong dream is “being blown up in a toy car.”
DISCOUNTS ON STUFF YOU PROBABLY SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED TO OWN
Yachts, obviously.
Drift trucks, compact death machines, and something called the Överflöd Autarch, which sounds like a Swedish dictator but goes 200 mph.
Weapons, including FREE Miniguns and Heavy Snipers, for when diplomacy fails but explosions always work.
Body Armor, for your feelings.
Grenades, for theirs.
SHOWROOMS, PRIZE RIDES & MORE
Win a race, get a Dewbauchee Specter. It’s fast, it's sexy, and it handles like a caffeinated eel.
Spin the Lucky Wheel, win a Vapid GB200. Great car. Terrible name.
Or test drive whatever looks like it could murder a Prius.
GTA+ EXCLUSIVES – BECAUSE ELITISM IS A FEATURE
Free Mil-Spec SUVs
Bonus liveries that scream midlife crisis
Half off Agencies, so you can finally launder money with class
Access to classic Rockstar titles, for when crime makes you nostalgic
This week’s update is pure, unfiltered chaos. It’s like Rockstar threw a Molotov cocktail at a yacht and yelled “GO NUTS.”
So whether you’re cabbing, racing, looting, or committing nautical war crimes in a robe—you’ll make money, you’ll look cool, and you’ll probably be sued.
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