TES Oblivion - The Thieves Guild Career Path: From Rat Catcher to Gentleman Criminal

TL;DR

Because everyone starts by stealing apples before stealing Elder Scrolls.

You begin as a pickpocket, end as a legend. The middle bits are mostly bribery, burglary, and begging beggars for gossip.

Welcome to Cyrodiil’s Criminal HR Department

Forget dragons, destiny, and heroism. The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion gives you something far nobler: the chance to climb the corporate ladder of organized larceny.

The Thieves Guild is a masterclass in subtle corruption. It’s not murder for hire (that’s the Dark Brotherhood’s department). No, this is white-collar crime with a hood on. You don’t spill blood — you just spill wine while crawling through windows.

You start as a nobody — a poor soul with lockpicks, ambition, and suspicious pockets. By the end, you’re the Gray Fox, a myth whispered by guards who somehow never check the rooftops.

Joining: How to Get Hired by the World’s Most Selective Crime Ring

The Thieves Guild doesn’t hand out flyers. You get in the hard way — through gossip, bribery, and probable trespassing.

Step 1: Get Caught (The PR Route)

Commit a non-violent crime, get arrested, and enjoy a little jailhouse networking. A friendly stranger will hand you a note: congratulations, you’ve been scouted by the underworld’s LinkedIn.

Step 2: Talk to Beggars

Find a beggar in the Imperial City Waterfront. Charm them. They’ll whisper about the mysterious Gray Fox — the guy with more mystique than morals.

Step 3: Midnight Job Interview

At midnight in the Garden of Dareloth, Armand Christophe gives you an audition: steal a noble’s diary faster than two other amateurs.

It’s The Apprentice: Larceny Edition.

Beat them, and boom — you’re in.

Congratulations! You’re now an entry-level felon.

The Career Ladder of Crime

The Guild doesn’t do performance reviews; it does fencing totals. The more loot you sell, the higher you climb. Here’s your criminal résumé in motion:

Rank	Gold Fenced	What You Do	Career Vibe
Pickpocket	0g	Steal, fence, try not to die.	Entry-level rat.
Footpad	50g	Steal tax records from the Imperial Watch.	“Robin Hood but tax-deductible.”
Bandit	100g	Steal a bust of a dead noble.	Art theft for beginners.
Prowler	200g	Retrieve a stolen ring.	Thief doing customer service.
Cat Burglar	300g	Frame a guard captain.	You’re basically HR now.
Shadowfoot	500g	Forge letters, manipulate nobles.	Corporate espionage with extra sneaking.
Master Thief	700g	Steal the Arrow of Extrication.	“Senior Vice President of Crime.”
Gray Fox	1000g	Pull off the Ultimate Heist.	CEO. Of Sin.

You don’t just climb ranks — you build an empire of plausible deniability.

The Quests: Crime, Bureaucracy, and Mild Panic

Each promotion comes with a bigger mess. The Guild’s “special jobs” are elaborate excuses to sneak through castles and make the guard captain’s life miserable.

• Untaxing the Poor: Steal the city’s tax records. Robin Hood meets an audit.

• Ahdarji’s Heirloom: Recover a stolen ring. You’re now solving theft by stealing.

• Misdirection: Frame a guard. Professional gaslighting, but with paperwork.

• Taking Care of Lex: Forge government orders and get a man transferred. It’s corporate sabotage with a quill.

• Arrow of Extrication: Steal a magic arrow to prepare for The Ultimate Heist.

• The Ultimate Heist: Steal the Elder Scroll itself. You’ve basically robbed God’s filing cabinet.

By the time you’re done, the Imperial Palace should honestly just hand you a pension.

Rules of the Trade (or: How Not to Get Whacked by Your Own Union)

The Thieves Guild isn’t chaos — it’s organized chaos.

Their three commandments:

1. Don’t steal from fellow members.

2. Don’t kill on the job.

3. Don’t rob the poor — someone has to sell you rumors.

Break them, and you’ll pay a Blood Price fine. It’s like HR, except your reprimand involves actual blood.

Tools of the Trade: Fences, Lockpicks, and the Economy of Sin

Stolen items in Oblivion have a red hand icon — meaning “illegal.” Merchants won’t touch them.

Enter fences: shady shopkeepers who turn your loot into spendable septims for a modest ethical fee.

Fence enough loot and you’ll unlock new ones: from Ongar (who smells like cheese and guilt) to Fathis Ules (who’s basically Sotheby’s for stolen goods).

It’s not laundering. It’s redistributing value through informal channels.

From Pickpocket to Gentleman Thief

There’s a turning point where you stop stealing for money and start stealing for aesthetic.

A true gentleman thief doesn’t need gold — he needs the thrill, the challenge, the artistry of entering a locked palace, pocketing a priceless jewel, and leaving behind nothing but a breeze and a bad pun.

When you finally don the Gray Cowl of Nocturnal, you’re not just a criminal. You’re a myth in a hood. A corporate legend. The spiritual successor to every noble who ever lost a silver spoon.

CRIMENET Verdict

The Thieves Guild is Oblivion’s most satisfying crime story — a Dickensian redemption arc dressed in leather and irony. You start as a street urchin and end as a masked legend who literally steals history.

Where the Dark Brotherhood glorifies murder, the Thieves Guild elevates style. It’s the difference between stabbing a man and stealing his pants while he’s wearing them.

So grab your lockpicks, polish your charm, and remember:

Violence is messy. Theft is art.