The Top 10 Places to Rob in TES: Oblivion
- Niels Gys
- Oct 7, 2025
- 4 min read
TL;DR
Lockpicks are cheaper than rent — and the jewelry market’s about to feel that.
Welcome to Cyrodiil’s Most Profitable Crime Spree
Ah, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion — that glorious era before Skyrim’s dragons, when crime was still personal, guards shouted “STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!” like opera singers, and the Thieves Guild felt like an MLM for kleptomaniacs.
This isn’t your moral compass speaking. It’s your financial one. You’re here to make money — clean, fast, and preferably off someone else’s display shelf.
So, sharpen your lockpicks, ditch the armor that clanks, and let’s count down the 10 best burglary spots in all of Cyrodiil.
🏆 # 1. Red Diamond Jewelry — Imperial City Market District
High risk, higher sparkle.
A literal goldmine disguised as a boutique. Display cases full of lightweight, high-value jewelry just asking to be “reallocated.” Guards patrol like caffeinated seagulls, so time your break-in for the dead of night.
Take: Rings, necklaces, and your dignity (if you can still find it).
Pro Tip: Pickpocket the owner’s key before your grand debut — saves you twenty bent lockpicks.
🏰 # 2. Castle Chorrol – The Varla Stone
A single shiny rock worth a kingdom.
If you ever wanted to feel like Indiana Jones with fewer snakes and more guards, this is your moment. Upstairs in the castle lies a Varla Stone worth a small fortune. Nobody locks it. Nobody guards it. It’s the medieval equivalent of an unlocked Ferrari.
Take: The Varla Stone. Leave the curtains.
Pro Tip: Act natural — you’re “inspecting the architecture.”
⚗️ # 3. Drakelowe’s Basement
Alchemy lab meets retirement fund.
Hidden beneath a witchy recluse’s house, this cellar contains more potions and ingredients than an alchemist’s fever dream. The owner rarely ventures down there, so it’s a stealthy jackpot.
Take: Potions, ingredients, your time.
Pro Tip: Drink one of her invisibility brews if you’re feeling theatrical.
⚔️ # 4. Anvil Castle Barracks & Cellar
If knights hoard gear, you liberate it.
The Anvil guards keep their best jewelry and gear where they think no one will look — the barracks. Newsflash: we looked.
Take: Jewelry boxes, rare weapons, the captain’s pride.
Pro Tip: Don’t rob the blacksmith. He’s Thieves Guild-adjacent. Respect the code.
🛡️ # 5. Imperial Legion Armory — Prison District
Steal from the people paid to arrest you.
This is the Oblivion equivalent of robbing a police station. The rewards? Armor and weapons that fetch solid coin. The risk? Death, arrest, or becoming prison décor.
Take: Legion gear, enchanted blades.
Pro Tip: Bring chameleon gear — not courage.
🔮 # 6. Mystic Emporium — Market District
Magic pays.
The shelves glimmer with enchanted trinkets, scrolls, and potions that practically whisper “sell me.” You’ll need serious lockpicking skills — or fingers blessed by Nocturnal.
Take: Anything glowing or humming ominously.
Pro Tip: Steal the key from Calindil first. He’s too busy pretending to be mysterious to notice.
🧪 # 7. Any Mages Guild Hall
The university of unguarded valuables.
Soul gems, enchanted rings, alchemy sets — all left lying around because apparently “trust” is part of their syllabus.
Take: Gems, gear, and potions.
Pro Tip: Join the Guild first to rob it guilt-free. They call it “borrowing for research.”
🏠 # 8. Rich Homes in Skingrad, Chorrol & Cheydinhal
Where nobles sleep and you make rent.
Nobles love shiny things and unlocked display cabinets. It’s a lifestyle choice. Each city has at least one house worth sneaking into, usually between midnight and dawn.
Take: Jewelry, books, food (you deserve it).
Pro Tip: Follow them during the day — their absence is your invitation.
⚙️ # 9. Weapon & Armor Shops (Bruma, Chorrol, etc.)
The “sporty” kind of theft.
Enchanted swords, shields, and gauntlets — all glittering behind cases that clearly never expected you. If it gleams, it’s worth grabbing.
Take: Anything labeled “fine,” “silver,” or “enchanted.”
Pro Tip: Don’t fence the stolen weapon in the same city unless you like bounty posters.
👑 # 10. The Countess’s Private Quarters — Any Castle
Because if you’re going to rob someone, rob royalty.
This is the big leagues — the penthouse suite of sin. Expect gilded goblets, jewelry, silver plates, and the occasional guard who doesn’t understand the concept of personal space.
Take: Everything that looks expensive.
Pro Tip: You’re not just stealing — you’re making a political statement.
🧭 Suggested Heist Route:
Start in Imperial City — Red Diamond Jewelry + Mystic Emporium.
Move north to Chorrol for the Varla Stone.
Swing by Drakelowe for potions.
End in Anvil Castle for that noble sparkle. Fence it all, vanish like a myth.
CRIMENET Verdict
Cyrodiil is less a kingdom and more a sprawling mall with optional morals. The best thieves know: it’s not about the loot — it’s about the artistry. Every perfect heist deserves applause, not handcuffs.
So go forth, apprentice of anarch y.Lockpick in one hand, irony in the other.
And remember — “STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM!” is just the sound of your résumé improving.
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