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Yakuza Kiwami 2 Review: Crime, Fists, and Dragon Egos

  • Writer: Niels Gys
    Niels Gys
  • Dec 12, 2025
  • 4 min read

TL;DR

It’s a crime saga where men settle emotional disputes with bicycles and nobody ever says sorry.


Yakuza Kiwami 2 is what happens when crime fiction stops apologizing and starts having fun.


Feeling inspired to punch your way through life like Kiryu?

You’ll need stamina, style, and something sturdy.

👉 Amazon: Leather fingerless gloves (for maximum street-brawler cosplay)

Warning: karaoke confidence not included.



Freedom of Crime (aka Doing Whatever, Whenever)

Yakuza Kiwami 2 doesn’t ask if you want to commit crimes. It assumes you already rolled up your sleeves. You are Kazuma Kiryu, a man who keeps saying he’s “out of the yakuza” while punching his way through Japan like a very polite wrecking ball.


The game gives you freedom the way a bar gives free refills. Wander off? Sure. Ignore the main plot about gang wars and assassinations? Absolutely. Spend three hours helping strangers with deeply stupid personal problems? Encouraged. This is not a sandbox. This is a crime-themed playground supervised by nobody.



Criminal Fantasy Fulfillment (Punch Therapy)

Combat feels like street violence designed by someone who really hates furniture. Tables explode. Bicycles become weapons. Enemies bounce off walls like they’ve offended gravity personally.


Is it refined? No. Is it elegant? Also no. But it is satisfying. Every hit lands with the emotional weight of unresolved masculinity. When the framerate stumbles during big fights, it’s less “technical issue” and more “everyone is moving too violently for reality to keep up.” Honestly, fair.



Mission Design (Crime Drama Meets Absolute Nonsense)

The main story takes itself very seriously. Murder. Honor. Dragons. Men glaring at each other like they’re about to duel with their feelings.


Then the side missions arrive and set the whole thing on fire. One minute you’re mediating a clan war, the next you’re deeply invested in running a cabaret club like a deranged middle manager. It’s tonal whiplash, but somehow it works because crime, as it turns out, is very versatile.



Money & Progression (Get Rich, Still Be Miserable)

Money rains in from beating people up and helping weirdos. You spend it on upgrades that turn Kiryu from “dangerous” into “natural disaster.” Progression feels constant, rewarding, and slightly ridiculous, which matches the rest of the experience nicely.


You will also waste money on nonsense. This is intentional. Financial irresponsibility is part of the fantasy.



World & Sandbox (Japan, But Louder)

Kamurocho and Sotenbori feel alive in the way most open worlds pretend to. Neon everywhere. People shouting. Something stupid happening on every corner. It feels less like a game map and more like a city that tolerates you because you punch too hard to evict.


It’s dense, absurd, and packed with distractions that actively try to derail your criminal ambitions. You will lose hours here. You will not regret it.


After three hours in Kamurocho, you will want two things:

  1. better sound

  2. something to hit


👉 Amazon: Heavy punching bag (for rage management and “Heat Actions”)


This is cheaper than therapy and significantly louder.


Crew & NPCs (Unhinged but Lovable)

Kiryu is stoic to the point of parody, surrounded by characters who are either deeply broken, dangerously ambitious, or one bad day away from starting a street fight musical.


Ryuji Goda is the standout. He’s not subtle. He’s not clever. He is a walking ego with muscles attached.


And it works. He wants to be the biggest dragon in the room and frankly, that’s a relatable career goal.



Police & Law Response (Decorative Authority)

Police technically exist. In the same way pigeons exist. They’re around. Occasionally visible. Completely irrelevant.


You can flatten half a district and the response is a mild inconvenience at best. This is not a game about consequences. This is a game about vibes.



Style & Atmosphere (Serious Men Doing Stupid Things)

The tone swings wildly between hard-boiled crime epic and full-blown lunacy. Emotional cutscenes sit next to karaoke numbers like they’re old drinking buddies.


It should not work. It absolutely does. Yakuza Kiwami 2 understands that crime stories are better when they stop pretending criminals are normal people.



Replayability (You’ll Be Back)

Finish the story and you’ll still have an alarming amount of nonsense left to do. Extra modes. Side stories. Majima content for people who think Kiryu isn’t chaotic enough.


You won’t replay it because you missed something. You’ll replay it because you want to live in this unhinged world again.



Multiplayer

None. Good. This is a solo crime fantasy. Friends would only slow it down.


You’ve read the review. You’re already guilty.Lean into it.


👉 Amazon: Yakuza-style men’s suit jacket (respectable crime only)

👉 Amazon: Whiskey glasses with heavy bottoms (Kiryu would approve)


Buy responsibly. Commit irresponsibly.



FAQ

Is Yakuza Kiwami 2 worth playing in 2025? Yes, unless you hate fun, violence, or men solving emotions with elbows.
Is the combat good or just loud? Both. Loud first. Good immediately after.
Is the story serious? Dead serious. Until it absolutely isn’t. That’s the point.
Are the side activities necessary? No. But skipping them would be the real crime.
Do cops matter in this game? Not even slightly. As it should be.
Who is this game for? Anyone who thinks crime stories should be weird, brutal, and occasionally involve karaoke.

 
 
 

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About Me
558296546_2180920959098419_5393229836138433861_n.jpg

I’m Niels Gys. Writer, gamer, and professional defender of fictional criminals. On screen only. Relax. I front JETBLACK SMILE, a rock ’n’ roll band from Belgium that sounds like bad decisions set to loud guitars. Turns out the mindset for writing about crime, chaos, and villain energy translates surprisingly well to music.

Here I run CRIMENET GAZETTE, a site dedicated to crime, heist, and villain-protagonist games, movies, and series. Not the wholesome kind. Not the heroic kind. The kind where you rob banks, make bad decisions, and enjoy every second of it.

CRIMENET exists because too much coverage is polite, bloodless, and terrified of having an opinion. Here, villains matter. Criminal fantasies are taken seriously. And mediocrity gets mocked without mercy.

I don’t do safe scores or corporate enthusiasm. I do sharp analysis, savage humor, and verdicts that feel like charge sheets. If something nails the fantasy of being dangerous, clever, or morally questionable, I’ll praise it. If it wastes your time, I’ll bury it.

CRIMENET isn’t neutral. It sides with chaos, competence, and fun.
Think less “trusted reviewer,” more “your inside man in the digital underworld.”

I’m not here to save the world.


I’m here to tell you which crimes are worth committing. 🤘

THIS WEEK
IN CRIME.

Weekly briefings on crime games, villains, heists, industry disasters, and digital chaos.

No corporate fluff. No fake hype. Just the underworld report.

THIS WEEK
IN CRIME.

Weekly briefings on crime games, villains, heists, industry disasters, and digital chaos.

No corporate fluff. No fake hype. Just the underworld report.

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