8AM: The Office — A Paranoid Night Shift From Hell

TL;DR

The game where nothing happens, everything happens, and you regret being born somewhere in between.

8AM is claustrophobic, paranoid, absurd, unsettling and irresistibly good at ruining your sleep schedule.

It’s not a game you play.

It’s a game you endure.

Like a dentist appointment, but with more ghosts.

Wanna survive 8AM without crying into your keyboard? Stock up on the essentials:

• The Outlast Bundle (Green Man Gaming) — premium-grade panic fuel.

• USB Webcam Cover (Amazon) — for when your cameras start acting suspicious.

👉 Also check the CRIMENET Crime Hub if you enjoy games that judge your life choices as much as this one.

Freedom of Crime — None. Zero. You’re Basically a Haunted Intern.

In most crime games you steal a car, rob a vault, or ruin a city block with your sheer presence. Here? You sit. You stare at a screen. You cry internally.

It’s not freedom. It’s a night shift at hell’s least-funded security agency, where your only crime is accepting the job.

Criminal Fantasy Fulfillment — You Don't Even Get to Commit Petty Theft

You’re not the villain. You’re not the hero. You’re not even the assistant to the assistant regional manager of anything.

You’re a disembodied yes/no button watching a family behave like sleepwalking cryptids.

The criminal fantasy? Trying to guess whether a shadowy blob in the hallway is a demon or just a dad who forgot how legs work.

Mission Design — A Parade of Nope

Mission structure? Don’t be ridiculous.

The entire game is one long existential dare:“Can you survive until 8AM without licking the walls?”

Every decision feels like picking between:

• “Slightly haunted.”

• “Very haunted.”

• “Possibly the cat.”

It’s brilliant. It’s awful. It’s brilliantly awful.

Money & Progression — Your Wallet Will Cry

There is no money. No XP. No unlocks. Just your slowly decaying will to live.

If progression systems were drinks, this one is a warm glass of tap water served by a man who hates you.

World & Sandbox — A Normal House With the Energy of a Bad Marriage

The house itself is spectacularly ordinary…Until it’s not.

It has the exact vibe of visiting your aunt at 2AM and realizing her kitchen light flickers in Morse code for “RUN.”

It’s not a sandbox. It’s a psychological experiment designed to find out how quickly you’ll start arguing with the furniture.

Need more surveillance-nightmares to feed your insomnia?

• Alan Wake Collector's Edition (Green Man Gaming) — horror, but make it literary.

• Rechargeable LED Desk Lamp (Amazon) — because your room will feel haunted after this game.

👉 Prefer crime over ghosts? Hit the GTA Money Hub and commit something useful instead.

Crew & NPCs — A Family That Desperately Needs a Priest

The family members act like they’ve been possessed by:

1. A ghost

2. A sleep disorder

3. The script of a Scandinavian art film

Sometimes they wander. Sometimes something wanders through them.

They’re an excellent cast if you enjoy characters who look permanently three seconds away from evaporating.

Police Response — They Took One Look and Went Home

There are no police in this game, presumably because even the cops said:

“Yeah… that’s above our pay grade. Good luck champ.”

When the law refuses to intervene in your horror situation, you know you’re truly alone.

Style & Atmosphere — Beautifully Miserable

The game’s aesthetic is “found footage from the office of a bankrupt printer company.”The lighting is aggressively suicidal. The sound design is the whisper of your last remaining brain cell.

But somehow? It absolutely works.

You feel trapped. Monitored. Judged. Like working in retail, but with ghosts.

Replayability — High, If You Hate Yourself

Because strange events shuffle around each night, every run feels fresh. Fresh in the sense of “another flavour of existential crisis.”

If you enjoy horror games that make you mutter, “What in the unholy hell is THAT?” Then yes, replay away.

Multiplayer — Thankfully Doesn’t Exist

If this had co-op, both of you would spend the entire time gaslighting each other into psychosis.

FAQ — In Case You’re Still Considering This Life Choice

Is 8AM worth it in 2025? Yes, if you like horror, stress, and questioning your eyesight.

Is it scary? Scary like finding your neighbour in your kitchen at 3AM eating cereal in the dark.

Is it like FNAF? Imagine FNAF, but everyone is human and somehow that’s worse.

Does it run well? Yes. Sadly, it runs well enough that you can’t blame the performance for your panic.

Can you win? Technically. Emotionally? Absolutely not.

Still hunting for fear, chaos, or questionable financial decisions?

• Dark Pictures The Devil in Me (Fanatical) — more ways to ruin a perfectly good evening.

• Noise-Cancelling Headphones (Amazon) — for ignoring all the things going bump in your house at 3AM.

👉 Before you go, join our CRIMENET Newsletter below, weekly crime & horror picks chosen by people who also don’t sleep.