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GTA Online: A Superyacht Life Money Guide (5X All Hands Meta)

  • Writer: Niels Gys
    Niels Gys
  • 3 days ago
  • 5 min read

TL;DR

If it’s on bonus week, grind A Superyacht Life until the captain starts filing noise complaints. If it’s not, go do literally anything else. 🤘


Need faster GTA money? Before you drown your yacht in All Hands runs, grab these CRIMENET-approved essentials:


A man and woman in stylish outfits lean against the railing of a luxury yacht at sunset, wearing sunglasses and holding drinks, with the yacht’s deck and warm evening light behind them.

INTRODUCTION: YOU BOUGHT A YACHT. YOU IDIOT.

The Galaxy Super Yacht is one of the most spectacularly pointless purchases in GTA Online. Most people only buy it for one of three reasons:

  1. They’ve run out of other ways to compensate for emotional damage.

  2. They misclicked.

  3. They thought it would earn money.


It didn’t. For years it sat there like a floating tax write-off, majestic, useless, and silently judging you.


But now? Now Rockstar occasionally slaps your yacht with 2X, 3X, or the rare 5X multiplier, effectively transforming this €6 million fashion statement into a money-printing carnival ride.


And when that happens?


You milk A Superyacht Life harder than a farmer with rent due.


Because during these bonus weeks, these missions go from “Why do these exist?” to “Holy hell, I’ve discovered religion.”



THE BLUNT TRUTH ABOUT PAYOUTS

Let’s rip the band-aid off:

At 1X, A Superyacht Life missions pay such mediocre cash you'd earn more money being mugged.


At 5X, however?

You can earn $1.3–1.5 million per hour with a full squad and $1M/hour solo, turning this once-laughable mission chain into a heist-level cash geyser.


Yes. Your yacht, a floating monument to poor financial decisions, finally pays your bills. Brendan Darcy has basically become your noisy live-in landlord who throws cash at you for doing chores.



THE OFFICIAL CRIMENET “STOP THINKING AND DO THIS” PLAN

People always ask:

“Niels, which missions should I run?”

I’ll tell you.


I’ll even tell you in bold so your gamer brain can absorb it:

ONLY RUN “ALL HANDS.” EVERYTHING ELSE IS FOREPLAY.

The rest of the missions are fine, like supermarket-brand cola. But All Hands is Coke, Pepsi, and heroin combined.


All Hands is:

  • Fast

  • Predictable

  • Consistent

  • The highest payer

  • Solo-friendly

  • Squad-buffing

  • Zero prep

  • Zero cooldown

  • Zero thinking


It is everything Cayo Perico used to be before Rockstar nerfed it into a damp tortilla.


All Hands is the money. All Hands is the religion. All Hands is the curriculum.


You run it until your eyes glaze over and your yacht smells like burnt aviation fuel.



MISSION-BY-MISSION


1. Overboard — “Budget Michael Bay Explosion Therapy”

A bunch of idiots stole your paperwork, so you kill them, blow up boats, and outrun the cops.


The good: Fast. Explosive. Pays decently. Perfect warm-up.

The bad: You’ll destroy more boats than exist in the entire LS tourism industry.


Run once for variety, then forget it exists.


2. Salvage — “Underwater Misery Simulator”

You dive underwater to retrieve cargo, babysit NPCs, and do more swimming than your doctor recommends.


The good: Cool vibes, scenic, feels like an action movie.

The bad: Slow. Dull. More wetsuit than wallet.


It pays in algae, not money. Congratulations.


Make Your Grind Easier (and Slightly Less Stupid):

If you're going to spam All Hands until your pupils liquefy, at least gear up properly:

  • Xbox / PlayStation Store Gift Cards – Convert directly into Shark Cards without questioning life choices. 👉 Amazon: https://amzn.to/4rl6fzv

  • Logitech G432 Gaming Headset – Hear helicopters, explosions, and your Tula crying. 👉 Amazon: https://amzn.to/3K2HHdM

  • GTA Weekly Update Tracker – Know when Rockstar drops new multipliers like 5X Superyacht Chaos.👉 gta-online-weekly-money-guide



3. All Hands — “THE KING. THE GOAT. THE CARTEL.”

You steal a Tula, blast water onto burning cars, then fly home like a wet pigeon.

The good: Everything. Literally everything.

The bad: Nothing. Shut up. This is the best mission.


SPAM THIS UNTIL YOUR DESCENDANTS FEEL IT.


4. Icebreaker — “A Mission That Thinks It’s Important”

You blow up boats, kill enemies, and pretend it’s a finale.


The good: Looks expensive.

The bad: Overstays its welcome like a drunk uncle at Christmas.


Required for first-time completion, irrelevant thereafter.



5. Bon Voyage — “Home Invasion: Jet Ski Edition”

Your yacht gets attacked by half the population of Los Santos armed with helicopters.


The good: Cool concept.

The bad: You spend the entire mission trying not to fall off your own boat like an idiot.


Fine. Not fast. Not All Hands. Therefore: irrelevant.



6. D-Day — “Big Finale That Pays Like Minimum Wage”

You dive in a Kraken, blow up stuff, surface, blow up more stuff.


The good: Cinematic.

The bad: Long. Wet. Surprisingly killable.


Do it once. Smile politely. Never touch it again.



THE MATH (FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT NUMBERS TO JUSTIFY THEIR LIFE CHOICES)

All Hands, Hard difficulty, 5X event:

  • $144,000 solo in ~6 minutes

  • $186,000 with four players in ~6 minutes


You can squeeze 7–8 runs per hour with loading times.


Solo: $144k × 7 = $1,008,000/hour

With squad: $186k × 8 = $1,488,000/hour


This is heist-level money, but with none of that “thinking” nonsense.



SOLO STRATEGY: “THE INTROVERT’S MILLION”

  1. Set difficulty to Hard

  2. Ignore every mission except All Hands

  3. Fly to LSIA

  4. Shoot everyone because this is GTA

  5. Grab Tula

  6. Drop water like a disappointed fireman

  7. Fly back

  8. Reload mission

  9. Become rich

  10. Wonder why you bought a yacht in the first place



SQUAD STRATEGY: “FOUR IDIOTS, ONE MILLION DOLLARS”

Roles:

  • Pilot: Avoids trees. Preferably sober.

  • Shooter: Clears LSIA. Preferably angry.

  • Backup: Exists.

  • Fourth player: Also exists.


Everyone gets +30% bonus payout, which is wild considering two of you will contribute absolutely nothing.



IS BUYING A YACHT WORTH IT FOR MONEY?

In its default state?

Absolutely not. It’s a floating divorce settlement.


But during bonus weeks?

YES. FULL YES. BUY IT. If it’s discounted, you buy it harder than a dad trying to impress a new girlfriend.

And once you own it, you finally get use out of the most glamorous waste of metal ever put into water.



CRIMENET’S OFFICIAL RECOMMENDATION

If A Superyacht Life is NOT on bonus week:

  • Do it once

  • Get the clothes

  • Get the achievement

  • Forget Brendan Darcy exists


If it IS on bonus week:

YOU GRIND IT LIKE YOU’RE PAYING CHILD SUPPORT.


Spam All Hands until:

  • Your eyes dry out

  • Your hands tremble

  • Your yacht smells like aviation fuel

  • Your bank account begs for mercy


This is the closest Rockstar has ever come to equality: Making rich-people content profitable.



FAQ

Which mission makes the most money? All Hands. It is the sun, the moon, and the reason your yacht finally stops being a floating financial mistake.
How much money can I earn? During 4–5X weeks: $1M/hour solo ; $1.3–1.5M/hour with a squadYes, your yacht becomes a literal ATM strapped to a plane.

Should I buy a yacht for this? Only if it’s a bonus week or there’s a fat discount. Otherwise buying a yacht for money-making is like buying champagne to stay hydrated.
Can I run this solo? Absolutely. The missions were practically designed for introverts who like money and hate other players.
What’s the actual grinding strategy? Ignore everything except All Hands. Spam it on Hard until your bank account screams for mercy.

More Money, More Chaos — Your Next Steps:

  • GTA V & Online Deals – Fanatical discounts that make Shark Cards cry. 👉 Green Man Gaming: https://greenmangaming.sjv.io/jekEoM

  • CRIMENET Newsletter, join below – Weekly crime intel, payout boosts, and guides that don’t waste your time.

  • The GTA Money Mega-Guide – Every profitable activity ranked, roasted, and optimized.

    👉 gta-online-weekly-money-guide


 
 
 

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About Me

WhatsApp Image 2025-08-19 at 04.27.47.jpeg

I’m Niels Gys — writer, gamer, and unapologetic criminal sympathizer (on screen, not in real life… mostly).

 

I founded CRIMENET GAZETTE to give crime, horror, and post-apocalyptic games the reviews they actually deserve: sharp, funny, and brutally honest.

Where others see heroes, I see villains worth rooting for. Where critics hand out polite scores, I hand out verbal beatdowns, sarcastic praise, and the occasional Criminal Mastermind rating.

When I’m not tearing apart the latest “scariest game ever,” you’ll find me digging through the digital underworld for stories about heists, monsters, and everything gloriously dark in gaming culture.

Think of me as your guide to the shadows of gaming — equal parts critic, storyteller, and getaway driver.

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