Hotel Luximinal – Art Deco Mystery in Seven Floors of Madness

TL;DR

It’s not a game. It’s a glamorous anxiety attack in 4K.

Hotel Luximinal is not a heist, not a horror, not even a thriller...

It’s a slow, stylish descent into madness wearing a three-piece suit.

Gorgeous hotel. Terrible holiday. Would lose my mind again.

🎮 CHECK IN OR CHECK OUT — YOUR CHOICE Love losing your mind in style? Grab your digital room key below. 🕹️ Buy Hotel Luximinal on Steam— support the devs and your eventual nervous breakdown. 🖥️ Xbox Gift Card on Amazon — because the next anomaly might be your wallet. Prefer crimes with a little more bang than wallpaper therapy? 🔥 Read our Top 30 Heist Games 2025 💰 Visit the GTA Online Money & Heist Hub — actual felonies, zero carpets.

Freedom of Crime

If you came here expecting chaos, carnage, and a bit of larceny, tough luck, Bonnie. Hotel Luximinal is what happens when someone makes a crime game where the only thing you can rob is your own sense of direction.

You don’t get guns or gadgets. You get elevators. Two of them. Pick the wrong one, and you’re sent back to floor zero like a misbehaving intern. The hotel doesn’t punish you with bullets—it punishes you with disappointment. It’s less Grand Theft Auto and more Guess the Difference: Deluxe.

Still, there’s something masochistically fun about it. You start to feel like a detective with caffeine poisoning, staring at the wallpaper thinking,“Was that painting always looking at me?”

Criminal Fantasy Fulfilment

There’s no mafia, no crew, no bank vault, no “we ride at dawn.” Just you, a clipboard, and your fragile sanity.The only “crime” here is how much this hotel messes with your head.

You’re not playing a villain—you’re becoming one, slowly, as the carpets start whispering your name. By night three you’ll be threatening the coffee machine with violence because it moved.

And yet… it’s strangely addictive. It’s like being stuck in The Shining if Kubrick had replaced Jack Nicholson with a frustrated interior designer.

Mission Design

Each level is a floor. Each floor has 30 anomalies. Some are obvious (“Oh look, the pool table is floating”), others are subtler (“Wait, was that clock... breathing?”). Every correct guess takes you higher. Every wrong one dumps you back at the lobby like a hungover bellboy.

You don’t shoot, you don’t steal, you don’t seduce anyone—you just notice things, which sounds boring until you realise you’ve been squinting at a digital ashtray for twenty minutes like it owes you money.

It’s a madman’s loop. But an elegant one.

Money & Progression

There’s no currency, no gear, no loot. The real reward is the moment you realise you’ve developed a sixth sense for misplaced furniture. And when you’ve finally conquered all seven levels? The game resets everything and politely asks:“Would you like to go insane again, sir?”

World & Sandbox

Visually, this thing is a masterpiece. Imagine The Great Gatsby designed by Salvador Dalí after a head injury. Marble floors gleam, lights flicker, and shadows flirt with you from the corners.

But don’t call it a sandbox. It’s more like a snow globe—beautiful, yes, but you’re the one trapped inside while someone keeps shaking it.

Crew & NPCs

Your only companion is Payton, an android concierge who sounds like she’d rather be doing your taxes. She’s polite, efficient, and unsettlingly calm for a robot living in a time-eating hotel. Everyone else? Gone. You’re basically haunting yourself.

It’s a bit like checking into a 5-star resort where the minibar talks back and management gaslights you for fun.

Police & Law Response

None. Not a single cop, not even a security camera. If you call the front desk to report a murder, Payton will probably ask if you’d like a towel.

It’s refreshing, actually. Finally, a game where the law doesn’t care—because even the cops can’t find the exits.

Style & Atmosphere

Now here’s where the hotel redeems itself. The Art Deco aesthetic is so lush you could lick the wallpaper. There’s jazz in the lobby, neon reflections in the hallways, and a jukebox that plays like it’s possessed by Duke Ellington. It’s The Great Gatsby meets Twilight Zone meets “Help, I’ve been trapped in a screensaver.”

Put on headphones, turn off the lights, and let it seduce you. It’s the prettiest mental breakdown you’ll ever have.

💿 SUIT UP FOR STYLE & SANITY If you adore Art Deco madness, keep the aesthetic rolling: 🎧 BioShock: The Collection (Fanatical) — when you want your luxury hotels underwater. 📀 The Shining (4K Blu-ray) on Amazon — for those who like their room service homicidal. And if you crave pure stealth over sanity, see our latest Hitman World of Assassination Guide — fewer elevators, more elegance in murder.

Replayability

Seven levels, 210 anomalies, and a reset system that shuffles the madness just enough to keep you guessing. It’s like going on the same date seven times with someone who keeps changing hairstyles. Fun, familiar, slightly terrifying.

Multiplayer

None yet, though apparently a “multiplayer alpha” exists somewhere in the ether. Given the premise, I can’t imagine what that even looks like—two people arguing over whether a lamp used to be beige. Still, if it ever happens, I’m buying popcorn.

Community & Patches

Right now the community’s small but enthusiastic—like a support group for people traumatised by wallpaper.The devs are fixing bugs, tweaking difficulty, and updating music.There’s promise here. Passion, too. Just… no witnesses.

FAQ

Is Hotel Luximinal worth it in 2025? Only if you enjoy yelling “A-ha!” at light fixtures at 2 a.m.

Will I feel like a criminal? Only in the sense that you’re committing theft against your own sanity.

How long is it? Long enough to make you doubt your eyes, your memory, and your furniture.

Does it have multiplayer? Not yet, and honestly, the world might not survive that chaos.

Does it look good? Good? It looks fabulous. Like a fever dream sponsored by Chanel.

📰 JOIN THE UNDERGROUND You’ve survived the hotel — now commit to the lifestyle. 🕶️ Subscribe to This Week in Crime below — weekly villainy, delivered fresh. 🧤 CRIMENET Merch Store — wear your mental breakdown with pride. Still itching for chaos? 💣 Payday 2 on Fanatical — actual heists, no throw pillows. 🔫 Grand Theft Auto V on Amazon — because sometimes you just need to steal a car and move on. For more beautiful insanity, check out The Roofman Review — proof that you can be an anomaly in a toy store